Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She...

By fruitoftheloom - 09/03/2015 05:13 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 966

You deserved it 7 323

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Same thing different taste

Knockout

By hwat? - 09/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when she revealed her underwear: boxer shorts. She said she wears them because they’re the only underwear that doesn’t ride up her ass crack. Completely killed the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 4 716

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 566

You deserved it 32 065

By Eddie - 07/08/2011 19:43 - Israel

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 903

You deserved it 4 923

By captainocd - 19/08/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 650

You deserved it 85 112

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 10:00

Today, I got my boyfriend's pants down for the first time and turns out my thumb is bigger than his erect penis. I already know he has weak tongue technique, but this is an extra slap in the face I do not need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 364

By Anonymous - 13/07/2011 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 742

You deserved it 8 517

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 022

You deserved it 11 617

By notsohappy - 18/02/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118 917

You deserved it 11 084

By Joe - 08/07/2011 18:48 - United States

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 719

You deserved it 22 421

By mrricecakes - 23/03/2012 05:55 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 410

You deserved it 5 234

1dvs_bstd 41

Monday 9 March 2015 13:46

Was it shiny? Girls, like fish are attracted to shiny things. -Barney Stinson.

Mightyrif 23

Monday 9 March 2015 13:49

Paint your **** with the same pattern. Bet that'll impress her!

Comments

wobbly1 16

Monday 9 March 2015 14:01

If she's not impressed with the package, lmpress her with what you can do with it.

MehNameIsJuan 15

Monday 9 March 2015 19:57

your profile pic tho xD

sunnyskys 25

Monday 9 March 2015 14:02

bro be carful you may be going home commando

lazyninja334 15

Monday 9 March 2015 14:05

heyyy at least she liked them OP

LizetteBerenice 22

Monday 9 March 2015 14:07

Girls and fashion, eh?

ckerane 16

Monday 9 March 2015 14:07

she clearly isn't ready for sex then

iAlissa 34

Monday 9 March 2015 16:55

I can be ready for sexual activities and not sit and gape at a dick. Guys have dicks. Big whoop haha

venomousflower 24

Monday 9 March 2015 14:13

At least she was impressed

hailzz_96 18

Monday 9 March 2015 14:18

Why was there a rooster in your boxers

dutchy86 20

Monday 9 March 2015 14:27

underwear-fetish?

cari_cat 19

Monday 9 March 2015 14:32

You must literally be a fancy pants.

FMLusername969 21

Monday 9 March 2015 14:32

She may have just been really nervous and was rambling a bit.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

The Top

Today, I'm 55 and I've been with my 61 year-old hubs for 32 years. He has next to no sex drive. When I asked him to tell me what is attractive about me, he said I'm nice, witty, easy to talk to. I asked what physically is attractive about me. He said, "You're not gross and you're not obese." He then got mad at me when I started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 404

Today, for our third date, we watched a romantic movie at my house. The sex scene got me all hot and bothered, so I started holding his hand, massaging his thigh, and even fondling his dick, but when I turned to pounce on him right then and there, the bastard was asleep from boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 438

Today, I asked my boyfriend to help me with groceries, since the last of my money went to last week's groceries. His response was to start a fight, then tell me it's my fault my daughter acts the way she does, which is when he finally got me to break down and cry. I'm pregnant with his kid, and I also pay 90% of our bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 981

Today, my country’s health minister said on TV, "Stay home! Don’t travel, don’t meet people!" The same evening, he drove to another state to have dinner with a group of people who gave money to his political party. He had taken a COVID test before. It came back positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 136

Today, I was screamed at and called an idiot for trying to turn on an unplugged lamp. I haven’t slept in 5 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 166

Today, my brother admitted that he decides whether he will date a girl or not based on the number of likes she gets on her selfies. We share the same blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 635

You deserved it 3 513

Same thing different taste

Knockout

Chemistry

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