Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to...

By Anonymous - 04/06/2009 20:10 - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 685

You deserved it 10 049

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Same thing different taste

Remember now?

By Holymoly - 14/01/2009 21:10 - Netherlands

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 673

You deserved it 39 762

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 394

You deserved it 3 436

Narcolepsy

By Isuckreallybad - 06/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 433

By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 00:55 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 377

You deserved it 6 206

By girlgirlinsanity - 25/07/2010 11:09 - United States

Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 564

You deserved it 5 783

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 325

You deserved it 292

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 995

You deserved it 108 958

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 049

You deserved it 4 497

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 162

You deserved it 7 122

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 779

You deserved it 4 560

AndyBoy 0

Friday 5 June 2009 2:11

FYL indeed sir

ellephaba101 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 21:55

I don't get it...?

Comments

HorrorByrd 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:10

Film it next time

fishburger420 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:10

at least it's not really bad thing...

yungmoolahbaby 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:12

if you don't get #4... Today, I came home from work late (2:30am). As I snuck carefully into bed and laid down next to my sleeping future wife, my fiancee half awake said "No, no... Dan will be home soon." I am Dan. FML

jadeddream 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:14

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_sex

dyld921 2

Friday 5 June 2009 5:21

This is a FMl because he can only give good sex in his sleep (or sleep sex as they call it).

greenb0ttlecap 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:28

LOL LOL LOL @ # 4 and # 23 and.. # 77! hahaha good one

i_imagine 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:53

I hope you didn't tell her that. xD

rhiannaa 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:55

hahaha, this is awsome. It has definitely happened to me before, but I was in your girlfriends situation. Honestly, when my boyfriend told me he didn't remember it, it didn't even bother me. I was too satisfied.