Miscellaneous: Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for...

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By veggieluver - 16/01/2013 00:58 - United States - Scarsdale

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 985

You deserved it 3 248

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Same thing different taste

All grown up

By Anonymous - 22/07/2022 00:00

Today, I made broccoli and peas with dinner. My girlfriend pouted, sulked, and refused to eat "yucky veggies", demanding fries or chips. Apparently, I'm dating a fucking toddler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 253

Goddamn commies

By Frazz - 10/06/2013 05:09 - Australia - Aspley

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 160

You deserved it 5 274

Good one

By bf. - 19/12/2013 02:59 - Canada - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 234

You deserved it 3 003

Cheeky

By Stumble - 17/01/2010 04:43 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned food. I asked him what for, and he said, "Dad said I needed them for a school project." I said all right, and he started raiding my pantry. I was left with only green beans. He stole all my Spaghetti O's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 345

You deserved it 27 687

Confused

By Nathanael Johnson - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my roommate came home from work and yelled at me for my dinner being too spicy. The same dinner he denied stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 489

You deserved it 213

Tasty treat

By Heather - 09/05/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 75

By communistgirl - 24/01/2012 16:42 - United States

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 937

You deserved it 4 079

What the hell did you do?

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 07:01 - United States - Steele

Today, while at a family reunion, my parents kept bringing up horrible things I did when I was about 4-6 years-old that I've been trying to forget for decades. After a while, I just stormed out. When I came back in the room, my dad had the nerve to ask me why I left and why I wasn't talking to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 159

By BigBallah93 - 05/07/2009 15:23 - China

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 795

You deserved it 55 362

Sorry dude

By EatYourGreens - 21/08/2021 06:01 - Australia - Augustine Heights

Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 151

YUNOFML 16

Wednesday 16 January 2013 9:35

FYL for being found out and having to terminate the operation.

honestsleep 9

Wednesday 16 January 2013 9:34

Whatever, more cauliflower for you.

Comments

dalink 24

Wednesday 16 January 2013 22:46

Commies are the bad guy favorites of old white people...

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 16 January 2013 23:38

"I can't let you do that starfox!"

LordMelchett 10

Thursday 17 January 2013 1:06

Cauliflower is just albino broccoli, ha.

Shmatterhorn 38

Thursday 17 January 2013 1:15

Wow, OP. I think gramps is on to us. (j/k)

Xotoolyxo 16

Thursday 17 January 2013 3:48

Try carrots next time (:

generalasskicker 12

Thursday 17 January 2013 4:15

Awesome grandpa

fallenangel72 7

Thursday 17 January 2013 4:42

Lol swag

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 17 January 2013 7:31

Geeze, your grandfather has serious issues! I mean, really? How can he accuse you of being a Russian spy for something like that? That's just ridiculous! Clearly you're a Turkish spy! Cauliflower originates in the Mediterranean :)