Intimacy: Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought...

By GrandmasWhore - 04/04/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 247

You deserved it 90 484

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Same thing different taste

Mad beliefs

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 254

You deserved it 20 795

Wisdom

By fiftyshardsofbroccoli - 26/10/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 446

You deserved it 3 062

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 016

You deserved it 8 977

By unlucky_vee_13 - 23/02/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 240

You deserved it 5 058

Oh no…

By Oh... - 26/07/2019 16:00 - Australia

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 971

You deserved it 261

By tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 888

You deserved it 3 569

By andifalls - 24/01/2011 05:11

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 515

You deserved it 3 531

Sex work is real work

By thatssickkk - 17/02/2010 06:40 - United States

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 570

You deserved it 2 727

As you were

By ryan and Zack - 25/02/2010 22:30 - United States

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year-old boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 300

You deserved it 7 972

You can't hurry love

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 334

You deserved it 4 063

SomethingWitty 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 15:55

"...then Grandma asked to join. FML"

LyuboLove 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 15:56

i still wonder why people don't take more precautions when there's a possibility of someone being around who could potentially walk in on you... you definitely 100% deserved that one

Comments

AkihiroHattori5 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 22:42

umm awkward. Yea, that's all I can really say.

eliz3 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:03

classic. also, #26, how about a door without a lock?

wowfmlife 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:31

Grandma's *****; your family must be so proud

explodingplant 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 0:22

oh hohoho that's hilarious. sorry for you. ignore all the people who are snarky and imply sex is bad thing (?). your grandmother deserved that for teaching you a bad message. virginity is not virtue

madalou2012 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 0:24

Gotta ask....... WHHHHYYYYY DDDDOOOOOOGGGGGIIIIIIEEEE-SSSTTTTTTYYYYYLLLLLLLE!?!?!?!?! you deserved it for that reason and that reason only. D:

fueledbyamy 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 0:31

Some people don't have locks on their doors. I don't, and I honestly don't really know anyone that does...

fyourlifetoo 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 1:24

#6 LOL!!

cyxx 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 1:55

Her grandma is "backwards" for not wanting her granddaughter to have sex? Oh yeah, because EVERY grandparent wants to know their grandkids are doing it. I think the OP is being really disrespectful here ... I mean her grandmother made it clear that for some probably good reasons, she wanted her grandchild to honor abstinence. And OP can't even keep it in her pants for like a day? Really? Abstinence until marriage isn't backwards. Society has just degraded to the point that sex isn't respected or important anymore. It used to be the ultimate confirmation of a relationship, saved for the people that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Now it's just "oh yeah, i'll **** all the high school or college boyfriends i have!!!11!1" Waiting just makes it so much more special ...