Miscellaneous: Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we... - FML

By Anonymous - 18/07/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 151

You deserved it 3 736

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Same thing different taste

By Sarah - 17/08/2012 07:45 - Canada - Penhold

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 145

You deserved it 3 070

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 16:29 - United States - Woodland

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 653

You deserved it 2 161

By Anonymous - 21/07/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 405

You deserved it 60 602

Neighborhood watch

By TheAnnoyedNeighbor - 03/10/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 601

You deserved it 3 292

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, I went out for New Year's. When I got back, I found my house had been broken into. I found a note saying, "Happy New Year, sucker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 027

You deserved it 2 928

By Anonymous - 17/09/2013 17:23 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 625

You deserved it 4 066

By Aaron - 01/12/2011 22:00

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 540

You deserved it 2 750

By racello13 - 02/11/2015 15:26 - United States - Baldwinsville

Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 463

You deserved it 1 815

By Amanda - 19/11/2010 05:14

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 341

You deserved it 3 843

By Lindso1 - 06/07/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 223

You deserved it 245

Next

Top comments

TheRealBruce 12

Monday 18 July 2011 12:04

well y'all better put them in a safe

macdaddymady 8

Monday 18 July 2011 12:03

man that's some scary shit, it's time to move

Comments

ThreeSheetsGone 12

Monday 18 July 2011 12:18

They didn't steal your virginity did they?

kayC7 0

Monday 18 July 2011 19:33

um..that's rape.

4XxXo_OxXx4 0

Monday 18 July 2011 23:59

it's not rape if you yell "SURPRISE!"

truehitman2010 0

Monday 18 July 2011 12:18

damn gingers

Zaffro 8

Monday 18 July 2011 12:18

burglary banter

gruvychild 17

Monday 18 July 2011 12:22

They're going to steal your souls? Maybe they'll only steal one of them!

tylenol123 0

Monday 18 July 2011 15:44

shut up...

mchakkiwala 0

Monday 18 July 2011 12:22

put a post-it that says "taken"

sabrinabea 11

Monday 18 July 2011 12:22

For some reason my thoughts turned to Sponge Bob where the 'Flying Dutchman' steals everyone souls, I guess if it happens in the ocean it's gotta happen on land!

cassie13091 10

Monday 18 July 2011 15:00

I did too

surrealJC 4

Monday 18 July 2011 12:24

Uh oh, it was an epicmealtime fan, your suspect is one of their subscribers!!!

narrowords 18

Monday 18 July 2011 12:35

Is your house a person? YDI for not knowing a house cannot be "robbed."

cptmorgan6 8

Monday 18 July 2011 13:56

Shut up.

kindlystfupls 0

Monday 18 July 2011 14:22

lol agree with 58!

cheerchick99 0

Monday 18 July 2011 14:39

No one deserves to get their home broken into and have personal belongings taken from them.

Fakeddd 0

Monday 18 July 2011 14:54

77- Casey Anthony does.

LotsaLaughs 5

Monday 18 July 2011 22:52

WTF?! your house can get robbed.!! & even if it couldnt; OP wouldnt deserve it! whats up your ass?!

adamswag9 5

Monday 18 July 2011 12:37

yeah that's no good!

Clozzie 0

Monday 18 July 2011 12:44

bless x

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, and for months now, the meds that stop me from killing myself have killed my sex drive. My boyfriend, being stressed at work, initially assured me that his was also non existent and not to worry. I found out he's been wanking every day and hiding it from me so I don't feel bad. Now I know, I feel fucking awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 417

You deserved it 651

Today, I’m now so unfit, I had to stop halfway through sex with my wife to catch my breath, and in the end we just gave up, as clearly neither of us was having an orgasm today. I don’t get it, I weigh exactly 11 stone and exercise regularly, but I have no stamina and shit lungs. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 352

The Top

Today, while riding my bike in the rain to a counselling appointment about my depression, my shoelace came untied and got caught around my pedal, causing me to go flying off my bike directly in a huge muddy puddle right in front of a busy street of people. No one offered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 143

You deserved it 1 717

Today, once again, I told a guy who’s been hounding me for ages that I’m not interested. After being asked repeatedly and turning him down politely for so long, I finally snapped and cussed his ass out. Now I’m known as "the bitch" for hurting such a "nice guy's" feelings. I need new friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 174

Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 961

You deserved it 6 646

Today, I think my daughter is the only person in the world who was born racist. The other day she said to me, “Girls with dark skin can’t be pretty.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 172

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 293

You deserved it 3 688

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 523

You deserved it 2 496