Miscellaneous: Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we... - FML

By Anonymous - 18/07/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 145

You deserved it 3 736

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Same thing different taste

By Sarah - 17/08/2012 07:45 - Canada - Penhold

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 140

You deserved it 3 069

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 16:29 - United States - Woodland

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 649

You deserved it 2 160

By Anonymous - 21/07/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 402

You deserved it 60 587

Neighborhood watch

By TheAnnoyedNeighbor - 03/10/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 592

You deserved it 3 287

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, I went out for New Year's. When I got back, I found my house had been broken into. I found a note saying, "Happy New Year, sucker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 024

You deserved it 2 927

By Anonymous - 17/09/2013 17:23 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 611

You deserved it 4 060

By Aaron - 01/12/2011 22:00

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 529

You deserved it 2 747

By racello13 - 02/11/2015 15:26 - United States - Baldwinsville

Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 455

You deserved it 1 814

By Amanda - 19/11/2010 05:14

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 335

You deserved it 3 839

By Lindso1 - 06/07/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 223

You deserved it 244

Next

Top comments

TheRealBruce 12

Monday 18 July 2011 12:04

well y'all better put them in a safe

macdaddymady 8

Monday 18 July 2011 12:03

man that's some scary shit, it's time to move

Comments

ThreeSheetsGone 12

Monday 18 July 2011 12:18

They didn't steal your virginity did they?

kayC7 0

Monday 18 July 2011 19:33

um..that's rape.

4XxXo_OxXx4 0

Monday 18 July 2011 23:59

it's not rape if you yell "SURPRISE!"

truehitman2010 0

Monday 18 July 2011 12:18

damn gingers

Zaffro 8

Monday 18 July 2011 12:18

burglary banter

gruvychild 17

Monday 18 July 2011 12:22

They're going to steal your souls? Maybe they'll only steal one of them!

tylenol123 0

Monday 18 July 2011 15:44

shut up...

mchakkiwala 0

Monday 18 July 2011 12:22

put a post-it that says "taken"

sabrinabea 11

Monday 18 July 2011 12:22

For some reason my thoughts turned to Sponge Bob where the 'Flying Dutchman' steals everyone souls, I guess if it happens in the ocean it's gotta happen on land!

cassie13091 10

Monday 18 July 2011 15:00

I did too

surrealJC 4

Monday 18 July 2011 12:24

Uh oh, it was an epicmealtime fan, your suspect is one of their subscribers!!!

narrowords 18

Monday 18 July 2011 12:35

Is your house a person? YDI for not knowing a house cannot be "robbed."

cptmorgan6 8

Monday 18 July 2011 13:56

Shut up.

kindlystfupls 0

Monday 18 July 2011 14:22

lol agree with 58!

cheerchick99 0

Monday 18 July 2011 14:39

No one deserves to get their home broken into and have personal belongings taken from them.

Fakeddd 0

Monday 18 July 2011 14:54

77- Casey Anthony does.

LotsaLaughs 5

Monday 18 July 2011 22:52

WTF?! your house can get robbed.!! & even if it couldnt; OP wouldnt deserve it! whats up your ass?!

adamswag9 5

Monday 18 July 2011 12:37

yeah that's no good!

Clozzie 0

Monday 18 July 2011 12:44

bless x

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Keywords

Surprise Love Cute My ex Texting Awkward Wanker Intimacy Sex Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Parents Weekend Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Zoom Coworkers Argument Roommate Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, my BFF and I put our kids on the bus, and went shopping and have lunch. We were both eating a gross amount of Taco Bell sitting in the middle of the parking lot. The cops pulled up. Someone had called them, saying we were doing drugs because of the way we were sitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 218

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 410

You deserved it 15 012

The Top

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 220

You deserved it 3 225

Today, I really want to punch whoever says women have no problem getting laid. It’s been so long since I’ve felt the touch of another human, I actually considered hiring a male prostitute just so I can be in a man’s arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 410

Today, I was sitting under a tree at a park. The dirt felt a little damp, so I assumed it was dew from the night. A homeless man walks over and asks me to move, then starts to pee under the tree, followed by another man. I was sitting in their bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 942

You deserved it 4 677

Today, I woke up with a carpet burn. From sleeping. Alone. In my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 163

Today, after my dad got frustrated at me last month for not having a job and completely taking over my job searching, claiming it’s not that hard and he’d show me how it’s done. Since then, not one company has called or emailed him back and he doesn’t know why. Welcome to job searching in 2024, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 85

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 664

You deserved it 4 124