Miscellaneous: Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good... - FML

By Amanda - 19/11/2010 05:14

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 338

You deserved it 3 843

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Same thing different taste

By Sarah - 17/08/2012 07:45 - Canada - Penhold

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 142

You deserved it 3 069

By Anonymous - 05/09/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, my house was broken into. I'm really poor and don't have a television or nice clothing, so they just dumped my trash all over the house and stole my one loaf of bread that was supposed to last me for the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 897

You deserved it 191

By racello13 - 02/11/2015 15:26 - United States - Baldwinsville

Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 461

You deserved it 1 815

By pillowless - 13/10/2011 14:41 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 970

You deserved it 2 411

By why me - 24/10/2017 01:30

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 317

You deserved it 288

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 949

You deserved it 2 009

By Anonymous - 26/07/2012 10:42 - Australia

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 418

You deserved it 2 707

By Anonymous - 29/08/2013 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 817

You deserved it 2 730

By Aaron - 01/12/2011 22:00

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 535

You deserved it 2 749

Put it all back

By WTFwhywouldyoudothat - 22/08/2011 22:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully, they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 088

You deserved it 4 377

Next

Top comments

OnlyAvailableID 28

Friday 19 November 2010 12:01

Gasp! Not the cake! Matey, be glad they didn't take money or a TV. Or should you get those things so the robbers won't judge you?

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 19 November 2010 12:06

it's a good thing the cake is a lie.

Comments

Storm5526 4

Friday 9 August 2013 0:32

They would have taken that anyway :)

UNLUCKYyY1037 26

Saturday 10 August 2013 3:17

Or they were just hungry.

WingedLovely27 20

Wednesday 18 December 2013 8:50

Out of all the robbery FMLs I've seen, this one really... *puts on sunglasses* ...takes the cake. OOOOOOOOH YEEEEAAAH!!!

Jarl_the_Elite 27

Friday 20 June 2014 21:40

Well that takes the cake.

tuxedoandex 28

Tuesday 30 December 2014 3:16

Well that just takes the cake,

NamelessFace 22

Monday 2 February 2015 21:22

Points to the last two comments for originality. Funny though, they probably didn't see the other comments yet they were all thinking the same exact thing...

DalekWarrior26 9

Tuesday 14 April 2015 18:02

don't worry the cake was a lie anyway

Lackingman 8

Wednesday 30 March 2016 5:22

Sounds like Jacksepticeye robbed you

SirKiro_fml 5

Wednesday 24 August 2016 0:25

Must be a little old fatty who robbed you

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The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 64

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 865

You deserved it 62 130

The Top

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 578

You deserved it 5 036

Today, I was talking to my parents when all of a sudden my dad started freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is that he was dead serious the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 612

You deserved it 2 483

Today, I cried myself to sleep. Last night too, and the night before that, and the nights before those. But I guess that’s what life is, huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 126

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 917

You deserved it 55 329

Today, I was told that a coworker of mine absolutely hates me. Why? Because sometimes I have a slight stutter, and he thinks I'm mocking his very apparent stutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 79

Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 842

You deserved it 48 341