Intimacy: Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the...

By anon - 13/01/2014 01:53 - United States - Bullhead City

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 494

You deserved it 36 792

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Same thing different taste

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 1 814

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 056

You deserved it 16 176

Quickie

By dragonstooth257 - 03/02/2019 12:00

Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 056

You deserved it 679

Keep it down

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 184

You deserved it 59 898

By prdept. - 09/03/2011 17:12 - France

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 217

You deserved it 20 504

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 393

You deserved it 11 794

By Darin Greenwood - 22/07/2019 14:00

Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 2 477

By Anonymous - 02/08/2019 02:00

Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 296

Not now!

By Ineedit - 26/02/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 114

You deserved it 2 576

Being a parent 101

By Shavaughn Riley - 31/10/2020 23:03 - New Zealand - Kawerau

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 291

Pleonasm 35

Monday 13 January 2014 17:35

"Look, it's hidden in Mommy's dungeon! Quick, get it!"

thestrangedude 10

Monday 13 January 2014 17:35

At least they didn't call the police first

Comments

liza1922 7

Monday 13 January 2014 20:07

How could they get into a locked room?

arandomusernameaa 20

Monday 13 January 2014 20:18

If it wasn't locked -_-

Spyingcheeseman 8

Monday 13 January 2014 20:08

Mom knows where the monster is.

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 13 January 2014 20:26

Okay, i'm piling on here, but really...15 minutes is not a quickie. Lock the door. If this means buying a lock for the door, buy the damn lock and have it installed. Learn to muffle your screams. You have kids, which means you have to be considerate of what they might hear when you and your husband go at it. You totally deserve it.

limabeans101029 20

Tuesday 14 January 2014 0:13

15 minutes could be kind of quick, it depends on how long it normally is. Or maybe those 15 minutes were partly foreplay. Totally agree with the rest though.

fartay55 11

Monday 13 January 2014 20:41

Those are some awesome kids lol

Fangirlhello 8

Monday 13 January 2014 20:52

It's kind of cute that they wanted to protect you from a 'monster'. It's the thought that counts

ElectroThunder28 16

Monday 13 January 2014 20:52

Oh come on, that's so cute

kissnjones 8

Monday 13 January 2014 21:10

And you don't have a lock on your door. Smh

awilliams44 9

Monday 13 January 2014 21:31

hahaha get the monster!

ZombieSazza 34

Monday 13 January 2014 21:39

Lol, at least they're protective! Maybe scream into a pillow or get a ball gag (if you're into that), buy a lock for the door, then have fun! Also, to those thinking 15 minutes is too long for a quickie, exactly how long is a quickie supposed to last, 2-5 minutes?