Intimacy: Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the...

By anon - 13/01/2014 01:53 - United States - Bullhead City

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 499

You deserved it 36 802

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Same thing different taste

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 1 823

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 070

You deserved it 16 178

Quickie

By dragonstooth257 - 03/02/2019 12:00

Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 060

You deserved it 680

Keep it down

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 189

You deserved it 59 910

By prdept. - 09/03/2011 17:12 - France

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 221

You deserved it 20 508

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 398

You deserved it 11 795

By Darin Greenwood - 22/07/2019 14:00

Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 2 479

By Anonymous - 02/08/2019 02:00

Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 951

You deserved it 298

Not now!

By Ineedit - 26/02/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 123

You deserved it 2 578

Being a parent 101

By Shavaughn Riley - 31/10/2020 23:03 - New Zealand - Kawerau

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 293

Pleonasm 35

Monday 13 January 2014 17:35

"Look, it's hidden in Mommy's dungeon! Quick, get it!"

thestrangedude 10

Monday 13 January 2014 17:35

At least they didn't call the police first

Comments

menoseloso 13

Monday 13 January 2014 18:40

You've got some brave kids.

worldclassrager 39

Monday 13 January 2014 18:47

That is the third FML I have seen with the name anon...you must have a wacky life... Well looks like it's best when they are not napping...

perdix 29

Monday 13 January 2014 18:49

#40, then block the door with a chair. Trust me, when a couple having sex gets walked in on, no one wins, except the psychotherapists and the makers of brain bleach.

buttcramp 21

Monday 13 January 2014 19:07

on the bright side, your kids sound like they're pretty awesome!

frizz101 22

Monday 13 January 2014 19:21

I have to say you deserve it, if your kids are old enough do do something like that, they are old enough to remember it, and if you decide to have sex, even if they are asleep, take some precautions for goodness sake. Kids don't wanna walk in on their parents having sex. And for goodness sake have enough sense to scream into a pillow if you're incapable of muffling yourself.