Intimacy: Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the...

By anon - 13/01/2014 01:53 - United States - Bullhead City

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 494

You deserved it 36 792

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Same thing different taste

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 1 814

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 056

You deserved it 16 176

Quickie

By dragonstooth257 - 03/02/2019 12:00

Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 056

You deserved it 679

Keep it down

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 184

You deserved it 59 897

By prdept. - 09/03/2011 17:12 - France

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 217

You deserved it 20 503

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 392

You deserved it 11 793

By Darin Greenwood - 22/07/2019 14:00

Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 2 477

By Anonymous - 02/08/2019 02:00

Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 296

Not now!

By Ineedit - 26/02/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 114

You deserved it 2 576

Being a parent 101

By Shavaughn Riley - 31/10/2020 23:03 - New Zealand - Kawerau

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 291

Pleonasm 35

Monday 13 January 2014 17:35

"Look, it's hidden in Mommy's dungeon! Quick, get it!"

thestrangedude 10

Monday 13 January 2014 17:35

At least they didn't call the police first

Comments

vikky538 28

Monday 13 January 2014 17:54

how did u explain the situation to you kids... that's the funniest part...

weveallbeenthere 30

Monday 13 January 2014 17:54

good for both of you.

aktail01 10

Monday 13 January 2014 17:57

Kids can take naps at grandmas house while mom and dad get that quickie

NessaMae 19

Monday 13 January 2014 17:59

I'm set on you deserved it. You knew your kids were sleeping, if you couldn't be quiet you should have stopped. And yeah, a lock would be a good idea, I'd invest in one.

perdix 29

Monday 13 January 2014 17:59

It's "the beast with two backs!" --Shakespeare

EmmaMK 35

Monday 13 January 2014 20:56

Making the beast with two backs! I love Othello.

perdix 29

Monday 13 January 2014 18:05

Sounds like a big booty hoe who needs a ball gag and rubberized walls.

asylumlane 23

Monday 13 January 2014 18:18

Pillows are your friend when you have kids and visitors in the house.

Axel5238 29

Monday 13 January 2014 18:18

With all the fml's about being walked in on ect, does no one check before they start doing stuff that they are fairly sure that they won't be interrupted and lock the door? Can't think of how many fml's start with having sex in the living room and someone came home or the amount of kids "supposedly" walking in on their parents having sex. Does no one lock doors anymore at at least try to be kind of discrete?

frizz101 22

Monday 13 January 2014 19:16

Yeah because going to the store and buying a lock is super hard and expensive.

iluvferrets 13

Monday 13 January 2014 21:31

If it is a rental, they might not be allowed to alter the doors.

T1A2Z3 34

Saturday 2 June 2018 14:16

Well most doors come with keys? Push a dresser against the door or a chair then?

jadelolly 3

Wednesday 22 January 2014 19:51

hell yes

Dark_Stream 29

Monday 13 January 2014 18:23

We got surprise visitors once in a while, too. We had to plan ahead. Before we put a lock on the bedroom door, my wife and I would stick a table knife in the door jam so our kids could not open it unexpectedly.