Intimacy: Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard...

By me - 04/02/2012 19:40 - United States

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 322

You deserved it 6 009

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By boyfriendisatoss - 26/12/2009 07:22 - Australia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 502

You deserved it 5 107

By dwood08 - 07/11/2014 01:55 - United States - New York

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 024

You deserved it 15 920

By sorry dawg - 29/08/2019 20:00

Today, my coworker had been distraught over not being able to keep his dog after his divorce, so trying to be sweet, I'd ordered a specially-made stuffy that looked like it. I put it on his desk with a note and cookies. He thought I was mocking him and threw the plate at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 360

By Pimp Daddy - 30/04/2017 20:00

Today, my husband put "sexual favors" on the memo line for my contractor's check. His wife saw it and he had to quit mid-job. I'm stuck with a half-finished house and my husband thinks it's funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 572

You deserved it 540

Meh

By Meh - 18/07/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 139

You deserved it 8 548

By Anonymous - 07/05/2013 12:48 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 173

You deserved it 9 689

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:57 - United States

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 309

You deserved it 4 750

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 599

You deserved it 4 982

By jcooh0lla - 24/07/2009 21:30 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 785

You deserved it 7 460

By Wheresthecreamfilling - 03/11/2016 06:03

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 098

You deserved it 1 903

slick5880 22

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:17

Can't you do both?

Brelywi 15

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:17

So bake the man some cookies, woman!

Comments

fizzypop14 3

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:19

Well sex is over after 30-60 mins. cookies can be eaten for days to come

fiblydinkerton 0

Monday 6 February 2012 4:32

If your lucky...

rae_munchkin 6

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:20

Tell him you'll give him cookies after sex, but only if he performs well.

jbella92 0

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:21

Sex shouldn't be a treat. It's you. Not him

USMC_Cpl 5

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:21

Cookies are ******* delicious.

epitomeofwomen 3

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:22

Bake him his cookies and next time he wants sex bake him more cookies. If he says anything just say "its the treat you like, remember?" and walk away.

Internut 6

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:22

You meant cookies right? I'm stumped

epitomeofwomen 3

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:25

Well it really depends on how many cookies you give your husband.

Scrts 3

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:28

Yeah... very clear. If the woman is >50 years old (exact the required age for cookie production), with dropped boobs and looking like a pile of... Understand the man, ffs!