Love: Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was...

By preggers - 30/11/2011 14:57 - Canada

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 594

You deserved it 3 948

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By wmkaz - 21/04/2012 06:15 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 184

You deserved it 5 036

By wtf - 01/05/2015 22:57 - United States - Elkhart

Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 243

You deserved it 3 204

By embarassed - 20/03/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 041

You deserved it 10 508

Cravings

By Anonymous - 01/03/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I went in to get a sub sandwich. I asked the guy behind the counter if he could please put extra pickles on it. He looked at my stomach, and then put a huge handful of them on. I'm not pregnant, just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 258

By oink oink... - 12/10/2013 13:19 - United States - Mason

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 480

You deserved it 5 022

Not a sponsored post, honest

By Superwoman678 - 27/10/2020 05:01 - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. This brings me bad news and good news. The bad news, I'm a vegetarian. The good news, I finally know why I've been craving Big Macs for the last two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 868

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 05:15 - United States - Mineola

Today, my boyfriend is so ashamed of me that when someone asked how far along my pregnancy is, he quickly replied "5 months now!" instead of telling them I'm not actually pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 349

You deserved it 11 518

By LadyDeadpool88 - 04/02/2014 14:50 - United States - Laurinburg

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 937

You deserved it 7 291

By blahblah1993 - 20/02/2015 17:56 - United States - Katy

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and still waitressing at a local restaurant. There were only 3 of us serving today and things were hectic. One guy bitched me out, saying "Maybe if you lost some weight you'd walk a little faster!" because I wasn't fast enough with his soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 146

You deserved it 2 834

By nobabies - 10/12/2017 01:30

Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 274

You deserved it 483

TheRealBrianGrif 7

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:04

Then will the baby be a slider?

jackassiddy 8

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:13

Next time you see him in his underwear ask him if he is really cold or is he just smuggling tic-tacs.. Nickname him pea shooter..

Comments

KJCollard 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:12

Ass

DKParth13 5

Thursday 1 December 2011 1:22

Wobbledy wobble wob wobble wobble!!

uniongirl02 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 4:09

I'm stackin paper, my wallet look like a bible. XD

jackassiddy 8

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:13

Next time you see him in his underwear ask him if he is really cold or is he just smuggling tic-tacs.. Nickname him pea shooter..

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:14

So I assume at 9 months you'll be smuggling the whole cow?

THE_A_TEEN 27

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:23

A hormone laced american cow, probably...

Justin23L 2

Wednesday 30 November 2011 21:36

Why would she smuggle the average american?

jackassiddy 8

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:19

But.. wait.. my girlfriend eats... SHIT! *goes to buy pregnancy test*

ayooBrandon 12

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:20

Hahaha creative.

WCARlover 34

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:23

Congrats on the baby?:) haha

PessAsh 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:23

Learn how to take a joke

cristig 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:25

as a fellow newly pregnant woman, if my husband told me that I'd smash a hamburger in his face!! :o jk

cmars3 7

Wednesday 30 November 2011 20:13

That would be wasting a hamburger

mama8809 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:25

That's so ****** up

coltsrock37 15

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:28

Soon you'll be smuggling octopus, and be referred to as...well, you know.

sinking_fish 12

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:42

27- Referred to as what? Octoganopus?

murdersquirrel 15

Wednesday 30 November 2011 20:26

If your mean octomom, I'm disappointed.

cosmosis 12

Wednesday 30 November 2011 20:39

DR OCTAGONAPUS, BWAAARRRRR... That cartoon is retarded, 38!!!

M0rt 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 21:37

Octopussy? James bond reference

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 255

You deserved it 3 821

The Top

Today, it's the third time this year I was recommended to meet someone because we're "so smart, we'll get along." At dinner, this person complimented how I'd do great in their graduate course on data science. I helped develop the degree program. I can't believe I missed pinball for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 249

Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 34

Today, I'm struggling with my mental and emotional health, as well as my marriage. Our 25 year-old daughter, who is failing at adulting, wants to move back in after only being gone for slightly over a year. I love my child, but she's a nightmare to live with. I'm gonna run away from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 379

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 140

You deserved it 10 355

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the pool. He seemed shocked that I wasn't crying. A slim girl in a bikini walked past and said, "Don't worry, fat people are used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 915

You deserved it 5 271

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 349

You deserved it 2 434

Same thing different taste

Cravings

Not a sponsored post, honest

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