Love: Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive...

By Anonymous - 08/01/2010 16:32 - United States

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 272

You deserved it 4 488

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Same thing different taste

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 919

By Terri-Lynn - 30/05/2012 20:25 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 777

You deserved it 4 423

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 816

You deserved it 3 070

Plumbing issues

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 04:01 - Denmark - Viby

Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 75

By Mary - 10/07/2011 12:49 - United States

Today, my husband decided he needs to be thanked after every time he changes our daughter's diaper; if not he throws a temper tantrum. Now I have two babies to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 339

You deserved it 6 825

Guts of steel

By Anonymous - 25/07/2023 12:00

Today, my husband and I shared a chinese prawn dinner. I now have the most violent shits I’ve ever experienced in my life. He is completely fine and keeps rubbing it in my face by being able to eat his meals without throwing them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 133

Natural birth

By Anonymous - 12/08/2021 04:01

Today, during labor, I farted every time I pushed with very deep sounds. I was so ashamed. I pushed so hard, I pooped and splashed the nurse in front of me right in the face. Everyone stopped laughing and the nurse didn’t talk until baby came. When my husband called my in-laws, it’s the first thing he told them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 448

You deserved it 161

The joys of motherhood

By Bear - 24/05/2022 00:01

Today, I've had such bad constipation during my fourth pregnancy that I have now had to manually scoop the poop out of my ass to get things moving again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 168

By Vitani_Verci - 15/01/2016 06:57

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 965

You deserved it 1 780

snafu57 1

Friday 8 January 2010 20:31

tell him to shit two bowling balls and then come back and report

shenanighenz 0

Friday 8 January 2010 20:03

Sometimes when I get really gassy and take a bad poop it gives me flashbacks to giving birth. So I don't think he's that far off.

Comments

ipath5 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 23:25

why are you writing this! what a waste!

cucumberfabulous 7

Sunday 10 January 2010 3:56

What about the guy who gave birth to a baby? Wait.... he doesn't have testicles does he? Oh, never mind....

thatevilguy666 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 4:27

your husband is a retard. have a nice day

girlslikeboyz 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 6:03

Im no where near old enough to be able to have a baby and care for it considering im only a teen but I can imagine that you having twins hurts WAY more then him using the bathroom.....

mochi721 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 13:59

There's no way he can compare taking a dump to childbirth. Besides, it's not like women can't experience immense constipation. He's just being an insensitive ass. My mom told me labor pains are like being stabbed by knives over and over again. He's got to joking.

anonymouskid35 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 0:11

dude you can't even compare pain. you have to feel them both to know which one hurt worse.

oliviaxmarie 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 4:04

okay, does anyone know the real reason why pregnancy hurts so bad? well for one im sure its pretty painful to shoved a 7-10 pound baby out of your ******, and really are you gonna take a 7-10 pound and 12 inch long shit? no but the worst part of giving birth, is your cervix, having to stretch to the width of a baby oh yeah, our cervix's are about the tip of a pencil wide, un-dilated, idiots

Kellmaster36 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:26

apparently I went around askin woman how it felt to give birth they all responded "it's like ******** out a watermelon"

fanficbug 1

Thursday 14 January 2010 3:25

TMI (you have been warned), but . . . since I've both had an anal fissure from constipation and gone through childbirth, I can definitively say that childbirth hurts worse than pooping. And don't give me that crap about how a woman's ****** is designed to stretch, I had to have a third-degree episiotomy and the forceps used and still almost had an emergency C-section . . . for a 7.12 lb baby. Frankly the two events are not even comparable since labor lasts for HOURS and is intensely painful the entire time, while pooping lasts a great deal less. I agree OP, FYL.

fanficbug 1

Thursday 14 January 2010 3:38

Also, before someone points this out, I want to say that this FML is less about what hurts more and more about respect. Giving birth is not something that should be taken so lightly as "oh, I took a massive dump today, that's just like giving birth to twins!" I mean seriously? This guy is seriously comparing something that often requires major anaesthesia that doesn't completely get rid of the pain to a little-bit-out-of-the-ordinary bathroom trip?