Kids: Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives... - FML

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 04:18 - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 594

You deserved it 4 112

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Noname - 14/03/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 452

You deserved it 213 124

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 036

You deserved it 601

By ilikecake - 29/05/2009 11:12 - United Arab Emirates

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 386

You deserved it 53 424

Here, have this

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 873

You deserved it 4 909

Kids these days…

By cakehater - 21/08/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 311

You deserved it 2 466

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 24/09/2023 16:00

Today, as I'm 7 months pregnant and craving sweets, I helped myself to my MIL's birthday cake a little early. The family got so angry, they actually made me leave the party. My husband agreed with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 2 591

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 06:13 - Australia

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 399

You deserved it 17 297

By Anonymous - 25/01/2013 05:39 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 899

You deserved it 6 338

Great boyfriend, part 2

By thanks a lot - 04/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 928

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 970

You deserved it 3 693

Next

Top comments

evnflr 7

Thursday 26 January 2012 8:51

Now that's a shitty situation.

mama2b3 20

Thursday 26 January 2012 8:53

First of all your husband sounds really immature. Second, over 40 kids!!? Holy crap!

Comments

msanch_4 5

Friday 27 January 2012 5:03

"mommy i have too pee", along with the other 39 kids,

wtf4882 0

Friday 27 January 2012 5:50

Now that's funny!!!!

CadyAsInKatie 8

Friday 27 January 2012 5:50

Ass....

pokeroots 0

Friday 27 January 2012 6:21

well it is pretty funny

ChrissybooJacob 0

Friday 27 January 2012 6:24

That's illegal...putting any kind of drug in someone's food or drink can get you in SERIOUS trouble So if he gets arrested ask him....was it worth it?! :D

daniel1991 0

Friday 27 January 2012 7:18

Well your husband thought right! xD

thespammer 1

Friday 27 January 2012 8:12

YAY! POOPY SEX ORGY! <3 <3

AllyC1023 4

Friday 27 January 2012 8:38

If I weren't mistaking, 224, I'm pretty sure 7 year old children don't know what an orgy is or what it even means. Unless there parents let em in on that kind of stuff..

AllyC1023 4

Friday 27 January 2012 8:35

Tell him he gets to clean up the after mess.

Michaelmann_fml 3

Friday 27 January 2012 12:03

I'd just like to say, just because she married him, doesnt show what type of woman she is, you don't know either of them, unless you have lived in a basement all of your life, I guarantee you've pulled a prank or made a mistake.

AJTheGiant 0

Friday 27 January 2012 13:13

Funniest one yet. But I don't think your life sucks. I just think you had one incredibly shitty day.

12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight

The Top

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 540

You deserved it 1 905

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 483

You deserved it 11 507

The Top

Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 583

You deserved it 5 090

Today, I was so nervous about a medical exam I was about to take, that I misspelled my own first name. It only has three letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 662

You deserved it 580

Today, I thought about her again. I want her back, even though I know I shouldn't. She did a lot to hurt me, but did even more to love me. Sometimes I just want the old her back, if that's even possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 448

Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 089

You deserved it 3 290

Today, I left on a 2 month trip. I was in a hurry to pack so I wouldn't miss my plane. There were 2 piles of clothes on my bed. One pile was clothes that didn't fit to take to a thrift store, one was to take with me. Guess which one I brought? FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 598

You deserved it 58 306

Today, I went out with my ex-girlfriend, with whom I have a good friendship with and am in fact still in love. I picked her up at her house and we had a perfect night together that ended with sex in my car. As I dropped her off, she turned to me and said, "I hope you know we're just friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 860

You deserved it 1 668