Health: Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after...

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 00:17 - Israel

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 437

You deserved it 3 725

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Same thing different taste

First class slob

By Anonymous - 11/12/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I overheard my husband admitting that he doesn’t wash his hands after having diarrhea. I had no prior knowledge of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 102

By msjustine - 06/05/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 966

You deserved it 13 379

By Cheyenne - 11/07/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 314

You deserved it 3 707

Worst life hack ever

By 1meme129 - 24/02/2016 14:12 - United States - Denver

Today, my little cousin told me about how he never wipes his ass, because if he doesn't, he doesn't need to wash his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 314

You deserved it 1 600

By Anonymous - 07/06/2016 19:27 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, my coworker cornered me in the office bathroom and insisted that, because she's been watching me, I use the bathroom too quickly and must not be washing my hands, and that I have to wash them from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 299

You deserved it 1 242

Keep it clean

By germy germs - 01/07/2021 19:01 - United States

Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 249

By Anonymous - 20/11/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 568

You deserved it 4 214

By Shelby - 14/08/2019 02:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 232

Who are these people ?

By ShelbyIsAwesome - 04/03/2021 17:01

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 138

By Anonymous - 03/12/2010 03:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 196

You deserved it 4 946

dreamering 16

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:04

Tell him that you never wash your mouth after a *******.

miz66independent 1

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:13

tell him everytime he shakes hands with a man he's shaking their penis too.

Comments

iTransform 8

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:06

His response doesn't even make sense...

docscientist 9

Sunday 17 July 2011 10:21

If you're just pissing it does. If he doesn't wash after taking a shit...well...he's got problems.

PeachyJinx 7

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:08

Ew :

Twan_skillz14 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:10

that mug is nasty

ghostland 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:10

collecting all those public restroom germs and bringing them back to you, sounds like a good time

swittig 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 11:13

Love your profile pic, Kitten Mittens lol love Always Sunny

DjeePee 24

Sunday 17 July 2011 12:02

Pssh, there are more germs on an average keyboard than on a public restroom.

rgkkk 17

Sunday 24 October 2021 22:40

But those are germs you're familiar with.

Xmarshall16X 5

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:10

Tell him you won't cook or buy food because thats for people that "need to eat".

miz66independent 1

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:13

tell him everytime he shakes hands with a man he's shaking their penis too.

smeesha 4

Sunday 17 July 2011 21:58

lol :D

asianpandabear 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:14

Give him a slap. To the face.

LizzJizz 16

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:14

Tell him...you never used condoms when u slept with other men before him & possibly have an std but its okay since he doesnt wash his hands XD

Mekeritrig 15

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:17

To paraphrase Churchill, washing hands is for people who piss on their hands.

04SmileyRylee 7

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:23

well if he gets pink eye you'll know why lol

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 898

You deserved it 53 403

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. While they were singing Happy Birthday to me, my mother called me by my brother's name. When I blew out the candles a moment later, I joked, "I wish my mother could remember which son I am." Before we had even started eating the cake, she called me by my father's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 79

The Top

Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 824

You deserved it 71 908

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. Apparently, she told her teacher about the “special massages” mommy gives her. I’m a licensed massage therapist, and I massage my daughter with lavender to help her sleep. Now everyone thinks I’m a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 056

You deserved it 176

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 445

You deserved it 2 653

Today, for my mom's 50th birthday, all she wanted was a certain gold bracelet. It was too much money for me to buy, so I bought the same one in silver. Right before I gave it to her, my older sister gave her the gold bracelet, which made her cry. When I gave her my present, she just said, "Oh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 862

You deserved it 5 741

Today, after my car got stolen and flipped on its roof three months ago, making it an insurance write-off, and getting a new car a week ago, a drunk driver crashed into my parked car, writing it off. In both instances the drivers were thankfully OK, it's just my insurance premiums skyrocketing, no biggie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 70

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 852

You deserved it 3 605

Same thing different taste

First class slob

Worst life hack ever

Keep it clean

Who are these people ?

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