Health: Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 00:17 - Israel

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 434

You deserved it 3 724

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Same thing different taste

First class slob

By Anonymous - 11/12/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I overheard my husband admitting that he doesn’t wash his hands after having diarrhea. I had no prior knowledge of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 101

By msjustine - 06/05/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 961

You deserved it 13 378

By Cheyenne - 11/07/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 310

You deserved it 3 705

Worst life hack ever

By 1meme129 - 24/02/2016 14:12 - United States - Denver

Today, my little cousin told me about how he never wipes his ass, because if he doesn't, he doesn't need to wash his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 313

You deserved it 1 600

By Anonymous - 07/06/2016 19:27 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, my coworker cornered me in the office bathroom and insisted that, because she's been watching me, I use the bathroom too quickly and must not be washing my hands, and that I have to wash them from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 296

You deserved it 1 242

Keep it clean

By germy germs - 01/07/2021 19:01 - United States

Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 249

By Anonymous - 20/11/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 562

You deserved it 4 214

By Shelby - 14/08/2019 02:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 231

Who are these people ?

By ShelbyIsAwesome - 04/03/2021 17:01

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 03/12/2010 03:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 191

You deserved it 4 944

Next

Top comments

dreamering 16

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:04

Tell him that you never wash your mouth after a *******.

miz66independent 1

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:13

tell him everytime he shakes hands with a man he's shaking their penis too.

Comments

itswhateveridk 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 17:55

wat ewww

error0987654321 2

Sunday 17 July 2011 18:40

That's not even close to how you get E. coli.

csmouton 3

Sunday 17 July 2011 18:42

people need to build a tolerance for germs. everyone is so scared now of germs. that's why you babies have so many health problems

Jujubilee 1

Sunday 17 July 2011 18:47

that nasty dirty f*ck!

5chadenfreude 6

Sunday 17 July 2011 19:09

People who don't wash their hands after using the restroom deserve to be shot.

mamadi_fml 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 20:12

He poop did he? That's enough to contaminate everything he touch. Guys, wash your hands!!! Paranoid people or not, it not hygeinic.

mamadi_fml 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 20:17

That's even worst. Some people get sick very easily and living in plastic bubble. If you don't wash your hand after restroom, even that DOES pass e coli, you could be passing someone with MRSA. If you sneeze into your hand, would you shake their hands? I think not. WASH YOUR HAND, PARANOID OR NOT!

d33emar 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 20:52

that's just an excuse for him to b excused for not doing it.. that's nasty or maybe he's just a lazy ass

gogreen8856 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 23:07

that is nasty!!!!!

hateevryone 14

Sunday 17 July 2011 23:38

tell him no more sex until he start washing his hands everyday

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 022

You deserved it 3 406

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 779

You deserved it 5 987

The Top

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 097

You deserved it 2 273

Today, I went to a blood drive. The nurse taking my blood mentioned that she'd been called in on her day off, and she swore she wasn't drunk. I didn't know what to do, so I just smiled and blinked back tears as she savaged the vein in my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 839

You deserved it 3 289

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 718

You deserved it 3 192

Today, I called a company to see why the dress I’d ordered for my best friend hadn’t been delivered. After doing some digging and ruining the surprise, it turns out it had been. Her boyfriend opened the package, deemed the dress "too slutty" and threw it out. He refuses to pay me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 524

You deserved it 244

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 847

You deserved it 5 595

Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 613

You deserved it 132