Intimacy: Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa...

By lonewolf2701 - 22/11/2009 09:15 - United States

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 563

You deserved it 4 278

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By CalebNotShomo - 25/12/2014 15:25 - United States - Houston

Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 374

You deserved it 2 829

By pops up - 01/12/2011 22:25 - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 377

You deserved it 10 650

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 5 629

By Marou - 25/12/2008 01:54 - France

Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 348

You deserved it 11 116

By Anonymous - 20/12/2013 14:27 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 469

You deserved it 3 887

By bakergirl - 16/11/2009 10:40 - Australia

Today, my boss made me wear reindeer antlers to promote the Christmas spirit. There are still 5 weeks till Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 050

You deserved it 3 983

By homerr123 - 23/12/2013 17:35 - India - Mumbai

Today, my manager rejected my leave application for Christmas. Later I found out that I'm going to be the only employee working at the office during Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 964

You deserved it 3 236

By embarrassedhubby - 18/09/2010 03:48 - Canada

Today, when I came home from work, I saw my wife in nothing but black boots and a Santa hat. My boss and coworker were with me. I now have guys wanting to have a threesome with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 536

You deserved it 6 422

By B - 18/12/2009 16:19 - United States

Today, I got a Christmas present from my boss. It was an ab workout video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 350

You deserved it 4 658

By HOe HOe HOe - 02/11/2011 02:36 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 092

You deserved it 16 272

stupiddumbblonde 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:26

hahahahahaha. come on people, get a sense of Humor. :) not an FML!!

lsfry 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:21

sexual harassment anyone?

Comments

alex1432 9

Monday 23 November 2009 4:37

hahhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

bman16 0

Monday 23 November 2009 5:14

clark1986- I have the same problem, I can't ever see my comments posted either and it pisses me of so much

rogo0003 0

Monday 23 November 2009 5:43

Haha yer boss is awesome

Ninjaface 0

Monday 23 November 2009 7:50

Q: Why is Santa so jolly? A: Because he knows where all the bad girls live.

DameGreyWulf 0

Monday 23 November 2009 8:58

LOL man, that's great. I'll have to remember that one.

andrewms 0

Monday 23 November 2009 9:39

OMG WIN

99MDC 0

Monday 23 November 2009 15:09

LOL. That made my day.

Stueyy 0

Monday 23 November 2009 18:02

FML? I would love this to happen! xD

ImAMonsterrr 0

Monday 23 November 2009 23:53

WTF what a pervert hehe.

abbylolz 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 17:01

Lmao!!!! It would be funnier if he had one of his migit elfs do it with him!!

jordynf10 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 17:45

hahahahha i love itt!!! and why do people make such a big ddeal about being the first person to comment?? woop de doo.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 2 156

Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 177

The Top

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 854

You deserved it 2 711

Today, I finished up my physics project. I had to make some thing out of toothpicks and glue that will keep an egg from breaking when dropped 20 feet. It took me 10 hours to make it, but only took my dad 10 seconds to step on it and break it. It's due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 762

You deserved it 4 700

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 869

You deserved it 7 088

Today, my doctor told me my asthma was being triggered by my dad's smoking. He wrote a note to my dad, asking him to refrain from smoking while around me. My dad took one look at the note, then threw it in the trash, saying the doctor "doesn't know what he's talking about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 454

You deserved it 3 015

Today, I found out my babysitter has been selling the breastmilk I produce for my baby and replacing it with formula, while still taking my money every week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 812

You deserved it 2 358

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 924

You deserved it 4 864

Same thing different taste

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