Intimacy: Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having...

By Yulia - 09/03/2009 10:09 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 231

You deserved it 5 221

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Same thing different taste

Excuses

By sucks - 12/03/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 295 563

You deserved it 54 148

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 135

You deserved it 3 210

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 37 526

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 079

You deserved it 3 888

By bitchasaurusrex - 15/02/2011 21:24 - Canada

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 504

You deserved it 3 419

White lie

By Sorrymom - 11/08/2017 01:30

Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 455

You deserved it 916

Bad start

By Tripp - 14/07/2019 14:00

Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 619

ICYMI

By senelbeat - 03/07/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 321

You deserved it 8 596

By Missy - 02/02/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 224

You deserved it 17 280

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 109

nerd_fml 0

Monday 9 March 2009 23:11

Does it make anyone else the slightest bit angry that her mom is implying that her ****** is her HUSBAND'S property, and it doesn't matter what she wants - just that her husband enjoys himself?

thequeenofscots 0

Monday 9 March 2009 20:50

Hey, it could have been worse. She could've filled up those remaining ten minutes telling you exactly how much HER husband liked her tight on their wedding night.

Comments

AcessDenied 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 1:37

Personally, I would have been glad it was something like that and not insulting. Like, 'You'll want to make sure you have someone who can't leave the next morning after seeing your ass naked'.

greatbelow 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 2:02

You should have told her that you'll just take it up the butt from now on then, you can still be a virgin!!!

Kitten125 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 2:29

#10 - .... wow.... just wow. #18 - Agreed!!!! Good GOD that is awkward... And as far as premarital sex goes, personally I think its fine as long as its with someone who really cares about you and isn't just after your body... cuz that would make it *****(ish) sex....

whateverd00d 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 3:42

Tell your mom it's the 21st ******* century. Men don't own women and you're not going to hell for pre-marital sex. Christ.

cypher_sonic 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 4:11

Good times.

Imthatgirlthere 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 4:39

How much sex has your mom had that she's all stretched out from it? GODDAMN.

20batman09 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 4:45

your so regilious, thats hot

ajscott 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 4:58

Because every guy wants blood stained sheets and crying on his wedding night.

msmil401 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 5:01

WHY do moms do things like this. I could imagine my crazy mom saying something disgusting like that to me when I was younger. You'd think that they would remember what it was like being young and not wanting to talk about anything having to do with sex with your parents. So inconsiderate. I feel your pain.

bitterspring 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 5:10

Yeah, seriously. Having sex a lot doesn't stretch you out as long as you keep yourself in shape, your ****** is not your husband's property, and like #30 said, men don't WANT to have sex with virgins who don't know what they're doing (unless they're that kind of guy who just like stealing girls' innocence) and your first time HURTS. It's better to be able to enjoy your wedding night than fear it. I mean, seriously.