Intimacy: Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having...

By Yulia - 09/03/2009 10:09 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 231

You deserved it 5 221

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Same thing different taste

Excuses

By sucks - 12/03/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 295 563

You deserved it 54 148

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 135

You deserved it 3 210

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 37 526

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 079

You deserved it 3 888

By bitchasaurusrex - 15/02/2011 21:24 - Canada

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 504

You deserved it 3 419

White lie

By Sorrymom - 11/08/2017 01:30

Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 455

You deserved it 916

Bad start

By Tripp - 14/07/2019 14:00

Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 619

ICYMI

By senelbeat - 03/07/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 321

You deserved it 8 596

By Missy - 02/02/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 224

You deserved it 17 280

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 109

nerd_fml 0

Monday 9 March 2009 23:11

Does it make anyone else the slightest bit angry that her mom is implying that her ****** is her HUSBAND'S property, and it doesn't matter what she wants - just that her husband enjoys himself?

thequeenofscots 0

Monday 9 March 2009 20:50

Hey, it could have been worse. She could've filled up those remaining ten minutes telling you exactly how much HER husband liked her tight on their wedding night.

Comments

kitty911 0

Monday 11 May 2009 2:42

I have had sex more than 20 times in the past month and my vag is tight as ever. + you should just get over it, my mom has seen me blow my boyfriend twice. how old are you anyways? cuz most people who are how old I assume you are have had a sex talk from their mom before.

wrestler17 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:27

38 it's about pleasure for both and I don't think number 18 that it was meant to be that demeaning or that sense, but if it was then that's ****** up sex is about both people and that was pretty stupid to say just do your kegels and don't be having sex/ masturbating every chance you get before that night and you should be fine

wrestler17 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:28

And 53 how did that happen? Hahaha

Yulia_fml 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 6:24

53, stfu. Why would you be advertising that your mom has seen you blowing your bf? You make it sound like it's normal. I'm the one who posted this. I'm 18. I was 16 at that time. I come from a conservative family. Stop being judgmental.

Azurea_fml 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 3:56

She's right ya know.

dvs01 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 5:46

That's odd, as a lack of sex for so long will make you looser.

rawr_lo 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 17:48

53, shut yo mouth. I'm 18 and my mother has never given me the sex talk. And it's pretty sick that you would be glad to tell everyone that your mother saw you blow another guy.