77- I got involved with drugs when I was 13 because all my older friends did it & they said it helped their depression. My cousin used to cut on her legs & that's when I was personally introduced to the idea. It blew me away at first; I was thinking "how can anyone do that? What's the point?" A month later I was cutting my legs (so it wouldn't be visible). It became as addicting as the drugs. It got a lot worse after my grandpa died. I literally woke up one morning, and while half asleep, I started telling myself I needed to stop it all. And I did. I'm so thankful I overcame that part of my life. I still struggle with the depression, but I'm trying to overcome it. I have cut on some occasions, but it is getting more and more rare. Im a little embarrassed to be writing this. Sorry for my ramble. Just wanted to tell you my personal experience so maybe the whole idea of cutting would make a little more sense.

Hide it!! But.. Go see the doc, maybe he could help you to go through life..

Wow, thats terrible I would want to kill my Mom if she read my diary!

I didn't think anyone kept diaries anymore... and even though it is a major privacy issue, perhaps she was worried about something

I have a friend at school that often comes in with her hands bandaged because she cuts herself. She stopped for a bit because she got help but people kept teasing her for being attention seeking and shouting show us the cuts at her. She's now started again and it's a lot worse

Diaries are useless. The only thing they do is if someone finds it, all your secrets are exposed.

100% agree with 10. If op is a minor living under her mother's roof, she has zero rights to privacy until she starts paying bills.

You guys have raised some good points, and it makes a bit more sense, but there's still one quality about cutting that hasn't been identified or explained. If I was depressed and thought my life sucked, I would view self destructive behavior as a way of making my shitty life even worse than it already is. For me at least, I think I would be driven to behave in the opposite manner. There may be a fine line between what causes people to seek self-destruction vs. self-help.

77- As stated before, it's just that feeling of when you want to punch something, or even yourself. I started with my own nails, I would dig them into my skin.. And then it was the edges of folders. Plastic objects.. I started taking the blades out of razors and pencil sharpeners. It starts as the most ignorant thing. Though, it's proven that when you're in physical pain your body releases calming endorphins. And that's why people do it. Because those endorphins don't just soothe physical pain. It's like a drug though. It's addicting, and the more you do it, the more endorphins you need. You start cutting deeper just to feel better. It's a vicious cycle.

Cutting your wrists is an addiction, it realeases endorphins which gives a pleasurable effect.