Drugs and Health: Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug... - FML

By ughhhh - 03/05/2014 21:10 - United States

Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 697

You deserved it 7 965

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 04:07 - United States - Mccomb

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 176

You deserved it 3 523

By Goody2shoes - 21/07/2010 16:08 - India

Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 793

You deserved it 47 115

By EgoMoose - 28/12/2009 05:02 - United States

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 425

You deserved it 5 791

NOT NOW!

By AintEasyBeinWheezy - 28/04/2016 18:26 - United States

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 335

You deserved it 1 045

By imobesejk - 17/07/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 194

You deserved it 2 818

That's what a druggie would claim

By Chris Bores - 20/11/2020 08:03 - United States - Prince Frederick

Today, my family staged an intervention and demanded I go to rehab. Why? My mom found 'drug papers' in my car. It was a receipt from a routine drug screening for my job. It was also over two years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 72

Bullseye

By cannabis_this420 - 17/03/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. I was a smartass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 018

You deserved it 101 130

By anonymous - 14/06/2016 16:47 - United States - Inverness

Today, after months of helping my mother with bills because she claimed she had no money, I found out she makes way more than what I do. She just wanted my money for alcohol and drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 294

You deserved it 1 215

Chill out, Judy

By Anonymous - 11/07/2021 08:01

Today, my mom found out about my brother smoking. She calmly discussed smoking with him. On the other hand, I got yelled at and made to do chores all day despite having a university exam, just because I knew about it but I didn't tell her, because I knew that I would get the short end of the stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 90

By cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 410

You deserved it 2 464

Next

Top comments

Welshite 39

Sunday 4 May 2014 1:39

Can we please not start this debate again? I'm even asking nicely.

khaoticpanda 28

Sunday 4 May 2014 1:30

Untrusting and overreactive parents can seriously mess up their kids. Im sorry OP, shes wasting her money,

Comments

asherm 15

Sunday 4 May 2014 9:40

Well her loss of $200 for not trusting you.

ZannityZan 13

Sunday 4 May 2014 9:51

Don't know why your mum had to crack her head over such a minor issue...

Mauskau 35

Sunday 4 May 2014 12:38

I'm sure I remember seeing an FML just like this a couple of years ago.

deviedoodle 8

Sunday 4 May 2014 19:40

Drugs are bad. Mmkay?

inbredlefthand 10

Sunday 4 May 2014 20:07

Be happy that your parents care about you. Good for you for being honest though.

walkingspastic 22

Sunday 4 May 2014 20:49

$200 down the drain for not trusting your kid? Hope she learned a valuable lesson.

Martnikk 15

Sunday 4 May 2014 21:51

Joke is on her she payed 200 bucks for drug tests

Stevieray20 13

Sunday 4 May 2014 22:49

My parents r the same way. I want to move away an never speak to them again. I want to live my own life and make my own decisions. Thank god im transfering to a college away from home in the fall!

fantasyworld 37

Monday 5 May 2014 0:47

A lot of people experiment with drugs.

Axel5238 29

Monday 5 May 2014 4:41

Depending on the OP's age it could be the parents being parents or they are over stepping there bounds. Lots of people start trying drugs in high school and college. Granted, because of a cigarette is a bit much. Unless, OP has a friend that concerns the parents that may have gotten the OP interested in trying stuff like smoking, drinking and other stuff.

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The Top

Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 278

Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 107

You deserved it 326

The Top

Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 319

You deserved it 4 499

Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 855

You deserved it 460

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 125

You deserved it 3 746

Today, I used my rear windsheild wiper and it shattered a large hole in the glass where the rotating part is. No one can repair the window until tomorrow afternoon. It's snowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 506

You deserved it 183

Today, at preschool, I got to meet the mother of my daughter's best friend. She complimented mine's grades, and noted her quirkiness. I complimented her's for being congenial and being well-rounded. Later, my daughter said they are no longer besties because her mom said I called her daughter fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 721

You deserved it 1 678

Today, I was told how irresponsible, dangerous and shameful it is to date as a single mom. Apparently, my one and only focus should be my children. I’ve had one boyfriend in the past two years. Meanwhile, my ex-husband has a new flavor of the month around our kids whenever he sees fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 191