Intimacy: Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought...

By anonymous.. - 03/09/2010 00:29 - United States

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 110

You deserved it 4 458

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Tubular Bells starts playing…

By so scared - 08/02/2014 17:13 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 689

You deserved it 6 206

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 426

You deserved it 4 059

By unfortunate - 30/06/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 150

You deserved it 3 195

Whiter shade of pale

By pinecones - 02/02/2015 14:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 717

You deserved it 14 860

By Alex - 20/06/2014 22:05 - United Kingdom - Greenford

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 450

You deserved it 4 166

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

By Sodapop40 - 21/06/2020 05:05

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 128

Third on the podium

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 06:00 - Pakistan

Today, my parents told me that they had planned two kids (my older siblings) and I was born because my father "thought" that he was wearing a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 144

By for fuck sake dad - 02/11/2012 23:50 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 983

You deserved it 3 474

America! F*** yeah!

By scarredforlife - 08/08/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room, only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain, I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 228

You deserved it 7 219

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - 27/04/2014 20:51 - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 140

You deserved it 5 095

TysonBrown 0

Friday 3 September 2010 9:38

... grow up baby, ur parents ****! deal with it!

perdix 29

Friday 3 September 2010 10:17

I'll bet the OP means "scarred" for life. Just another instance where some Internet dummy doesn't know that doubling a letter can change the whole meaning of a sentence. What a looser! So, Casper the Friendly Ghost wasn't wearing his raincoat when he entered Mom's dark, moist, scary haunted mansion!

Comments

dealwithit84 0

Friday 3 September 2010 20:51

and least u'll always be a bad speller

nkkataeva 0

Friday 3 September 2010 23:00

And so will YOU ;]

MadisonEstrada 1

Sunday 5 September 2010 1:42

Oh, sorry. I didn't realize this was English class.

Angelsrockfl 0

Friday 3 September 2010 21:05

so was I, but at Leasy ur parents didn't dress as ragety Ann and Andy..

TOL_fml 6

Friday 3 September 2010 21:13

You were concevied on Frank Iero's birthday! (guitarist of My Chemical Romance)

purple_tiger 0

Friday 3 September 2010 21:37

#11 owns.

skyeyez9 24

Friday 3 September 2010 23:18

I wonder if he wore the "Charlie Brown" ghost costume with holes all over the sheet.

Compass 0

Friday 3 September 2010 23:23

Let's just say your mom forgot to eat her Halloween candy.

redrovaa 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 0:11

LMAAAAOOOO

legal9189 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 1:38

And? What's so bad about that? Parents don't always plan when they are going to concieve their child so yeah there is a chance you may get concieved on a holiday or something. It's not that bad! My mom told me I was concieved on a water bed and you don't see me on here acting like my life is going to end! lol