Intimacy: Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought...

By anonymous.. - 03/09/2010 00:29 - United States

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 110

You deserved it 4 458

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Same thing different taste

Tubular Bells starts playing…

By so scared - 08/02/2014 17:13 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 689

You deserved it 6 206

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 426

You deserved it 4 059

By unfortunate - 30/06/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 150

You deserved it 3 195

Whiter shade of pale

By pinecones - 02/02/2015 14:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 717

You deserved it 14 860

By Alex - 20/06/2014 22:05 - United Kingdom - Greenford

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 450

You deserved it 4 166

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

By Sodapop40 - 21/06/2020 05:05

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 128

Third on the podium

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 06:00 - Pakistan

Today, my parents told me that they had planned two kids (my older siblings) and I was born because my father "thought" that he was wearing a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 144

By for fuck sake dad - 02/11/2012 23:50 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 983

You deserved it 3 474

America! F*** yeah!

By scarredforlife - 08/08/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room, only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain, I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 228

You deserved it 7 219

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - 27/04/2014 20:51 - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 140

You deserved it 5 095

TysonBrown 0

Friday 3 September 2010 9:38

... grow up baby, ur parents ****! deal with it!

perdix 29

Friday 3 September 2010 10:17

I'll bet the OP means "scarred" for life. Just another instance where some Internet dummy doesn't know that doubling a letter can change the whole meaning of a sentence. What a looser! So, Casper the Friendly Ghost wasn't wearing his raincoat when he entered Mom's dark, moist, scary haunted mansion!

Comments

FHGrif 0

Friday 3 September 2010 13:56

Hey, I worked it out and I was conceived on Christmas or my dad's birthday....

noscope_ftw 0

Friday 3 September 2010 15:06

he whistled fur a cab n when it came here...

staciieee_x3 0

Friday 3 September 2010 13:59

Wondering if I'm the only one who thinks this is pathetic? lol People have sex. It's natural. Your parents do it, their parents do it, you'll do it & your kids will do it. So what?

craphappened 4

Friday 3 September 2010 16:00

No you're not. After scrolling down 71 comments, wouldn't you have noticed?

imright24 0

Friday 3 September 2010 14:43

Most people are conceived by their parents having sex without a condom. Where's the FML?

Niaa_fml 0

Friday 3 September 2010 15:23

Most? You mean everyone. o_o

imright24 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:40

Sometimes the condom fails.

ThereIsNoFork 0

Friday 3 September 2010 14:47

Hahahaha 35, I get it! I laughed out loud to "haunted mansion." Yeah, your mom licked your dad like a lollipop. On Halloween, no less.

whatev_1977 0

Friday 3 September 2010 14:50

You deserved it for not knowing how to spell "scarred." I hope #35 was making a joke when they said "looser."

ThereIsNoFork 0

Friday 3 September 2010 14:52

78- No he just decided to type "o" twice for no reason other than to completely destroy the intelligence of his comment.

m1y_mike 0

Friday 3 September 2010 15:04

aww, get over it nancy. your Mom has a sense of humor. be happy.

annanonomus 0

Friday 3 September 2010 15:50

Your mother put it mildly, how else do you expect to have been conceived? Stupid kids need to stop posting on here, it's for adults. If you get disgusted at how you were conceived, you need to take a sex ed class... Sorry for my rudeness. I'm not a morning person, and when I can't sleep, I'm aggressive. Still YDI for being immature.