Intimacy: Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument...

By lisahb - 19/06/2012 22:16 - United States - Detroit

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 484

You deserved it 3 316

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Same thing different taste

Easy mistake to make

By Becca Velveeta - 26/10/2019 14:00

Today, my mother's boyfriend sent me pictures of my mom sucking him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 252

You deserved it 200

Fight your own battles

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 07:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 724

You deserved it 4 795

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 791

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 953

You deserved it 4 797

By ... - 18/02/2018 01:30

Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 392

You deserved it 5 628

By Noname - 06/02/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 633

You deserved it 18 550

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 818

You deserved it 37 524

By nomorecleaning - 16/03/2013 12:17 - United States - Augusta

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 165

You deserved it 4 039

By AnDroidZ_BabY - 11/09/2011 04:47 - United States

Today, my mom and I had a fight in the car over who farted. The result? She wanted to smell my underwear when we got home, to prove it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 486

You deserved it 3 844

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 96 457

jdizz16 16

Wednesday 20 June 2012 9:14

Does she kiss you with that mouth? Yuck!

zandalee 19

Wednesday 20 June 2012 9:18

God I have learnt more weird sex fetish behavior on FML this week than ever before! Keep up the good work everyone!!

Comments

grannygruber 6

Wednesday 20 June 2012 21:58

Would you rather your mom was a dirty dick sucker?

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 20 June 2012 23:18

What? No grammar nazis chiming in on this FML?!

madamazinDana45 6

Thursday 21 June 2012 0:13

Awkkkkkwardddddd

StrangeDuckling 9

Thursday 21 June 2012 0:17

LOL! I'm sorry. That must have been traumatic for you... No child should have to know that about their parents. EVER!!!! I would have cried.

TheDrudgeChild 4

Thursday 21 June 2012 0:35

You'll learn it in sex ed class.

DrownedMyFish 18

Thursday 21 June 2012 0:44

What is the point of smelling it?

YesyDidWhat 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 1:29

That's really awkward. . . Sorry OP maybe next time you should tell her your not interested in knowing.

toowie_fml 20

Thursday 21 June 2012 1:43

there's a song about that..all you Tosh.0 viewers know what I mean

Lilybugg16 5

Thursday 21 June 2012 2:55

Three letters WTF

misshighjinks 5

Thursday 21 June 2012 2:59

She must have listened to that song "Let me smell yo dick"

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 052

You deserved it 8 438

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 434

You deserved it 10 095

The Top

Today, I was practicing my golf swing on my front lawn. I took a swing and on the backstroke the golf club slipped out of my hands. Next thing I know, it hits a neighbor's window, shatters it, and goes right into their living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 1 524

Today, I took my parking permit off my car to debate a ticket that I got for not having my permit displayed. Twenty minutes later, when I got back to my car, I had another ticket on my window for not having my parking permit displayed because I was using it to disprove the first ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 958

You deserved it 8 096

Today, I asked my dad why he only has pictures of me from when I was a little kid. Without skipping a beat, he said, "I only keep pictures from when I liked you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 211

You deserved it 2 378

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year-old daughter, and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy - I'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 854

You deserved it 4 504

Today, I have Covid, caught during a work trip I didn't want to go on, AND my apartment has flooded for the third time since Thanksgiving. My landlord seems to have no intention of fixing the issue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 84

Today, I have been talking to someone for the past 9 months. He always said he could never give me a relationship. But he loves me. He finally told me it’s because he’s been with someone for 3 years and I’m basically the side chick he fell in love with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 384