Health: Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli,...

By I'maboutobarf - 31/01/2013 10:28 - Australia

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 257

You deserved it 2 784

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Same thing different taste

Juicer

By alcomom - 01/07/2020 02:02

Today, I spent ages prepping, chopping, bagging and freezing lots of fruits and veggies for my mom. I also bought her a juicer and alkaline water to help combat some of her health issues. I walked into the kitchen to see her mixing her juice with vodka and rum instead of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 276

All grown up

By Anonymous - 22/07/2022 00:00

Today, I made broccoli and peas with dinner. My girlfriend pouted, sulked, and refused to eat "yucky veggies", demanding fries or chips. Apparently, I'm dating a fucking toddler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 249

By iGreen - 09/07/2011 14:34 - Canada

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 545

You deserved it 3 630

Blasted

By Fauna - 09/05/2019 04:00

Today, I started to make a protein shake to have a healthy breakfast. It exploded. Turns out, my mom lost the rubber gasket and put the blender back, so it looked ready to use. By the time I cleaned it all up, it was time for me to leave for work. I'm now eating chips from the vending machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 173

By emeraldarcher74 - 19/11/2016 18:34 - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 266

You deserved it 1 343

By WhatdyaDo - 16/03/2009 09:55 - Canada

Today, I spent a solid four hours and over one hundred dollars preparing a nice fancy meal for my new girlfriend. A delicious three pound rack of ribs with a sweet and sour marinade. Steam broccoli with melted cheese. Home made buttermilk biscuits. I serve the meal. She doesn't eat beef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 946

You deserved it 69 339

By Jensa - 16/01/2015 21:59 - United Kingdom - Buckingham

Today, my mother kindly brought me some soup as was recovering from having my tonsils out. Spicy Mexican bean soup. Yep, very spicy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 962

You deserved it 2 558

Smooth blend

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 16:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was excited to try out my new blender, but when I turned it on, the lid flew off and sprayed smoothie all over my kitchen. Now I have a fruity polka dot pattern on parts of my kitchen's walls and ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 347

By LameChef - 10/03/2015 18:43 - Poland

Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 163

You deserved it 5 027

Healthy lifestyle goals

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 10:00

Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 189

Catkam623 27

Thursday 31 January 2013 16:41

Hey athletes take everything in liquid form and now, so do you:)

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 31 January 2013 16:43

She is so considerate, doing the mechanical digestion part for you, so you don't have to! She is saving you time and energy!

Comments

ChazzyWazzy1998 10

Friday 1 February 2013 19:13

Mmm....I bet that looked just delicious!!!! (sarcasm- just for those who didn't get it)

coolkitty154 11

Saturday 13 April 2013 19:14

I don't know man, it's pretty hard to miss the sarcasm in that one.

ChazzyWazzy1998 10

Friday 1 February 2013 19:17

Your comment.....kinda.....hard to ...... a.....a......read.

someguy314159265 15

Saturday 2 February 2013 3:05

Next, she'll be blending iPhones and staplers and starting a show about blending random things, while telling us not to breathe the resulting smoke.

whatafuckup 14

Saturday 2 February 2013 15:40

atleast u got food

dovehigh 15

Saturday 2 February 2013 18:12

so....how did it taste??

laaryssa 21

Sunday 16 June 2013 7:52

Maybe with some cinnamon and no roast beef that would be delicious!!

Comoke1024 19

Tuesday 11 February 2014 18:04

It does sound good...

JerryClark 17

Sunday 21 December 2014 21:06

Reminds me of Wall-E

Cathrin 26

Friday 10 July 2015 0:17

Dangit, you beat me to it XP

Shaolin_za 8

Monday 28 November 2016 10:15

They call it soup where I'm from

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The Top

Today, I was singing loudly in my car at a red light, completely oblivious. When I finished the song, I turned to see a bus full of passengers watching (and also some of them filming) my performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 370

Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 407

You deserved it 3 021

The Top

Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 548

You deserved it 244

Today, my newly installed Ring doorbell captured crystal clear footage of my wife sucking off my brother on my porch. With sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 017

You deserved it 152

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 514

You deserved it 2 186

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 499

You deserved it 7 622

Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 167

You deserved it 1 151

Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food, and continue cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 129