Health: Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school... - FML

By Anonymous - 08/09/2010 11:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 737

You deserved it 3 245

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Same thing different taste

By TheHeirofTime - 15/08/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 257

You deserved it 1 736

I've known for ages

By Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 081

You deserved it 7 183

By poop - 21/03/2015 16:47 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 615

You deserved it 2 726

By Anonymous - 13/01/2012 00:59 - United States

Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 3 063

By danny5191 - 17/03/2012 02:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 972

You deserved it 8 701

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 95

Food poisoning

By brown and sticky - 16/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 541

You deserved it 205

By goddamn chicken subs - 24/03/2016 16:51 - United States

Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 860

You deserved it 1 655

By Kulcha - 13/02/2009 11:07 - Australia

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 429

You deserved it 40 460

By noname - 07/11/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 141

You deserved it 2 803

Next

Top comments

sweetcheeks0290 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 19:03

Don't you just love parents?

TittiesOrGTFO 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 19:01

omfg haha!!

Comments

lblikk 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 20:12

hahaa she's on your side

lostsoul1715 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 20:18

LMAO haha fyl indeed : )

jj79242 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 20:19

better than syrup ass

username5000 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 20:42

that is hilarious and your mom is awesome :)

bigbadtim 7

Wednesday 8 September 2010 20:43

That stinks!!

Emilyluvsyou 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 0:49

literally...

imright24 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 20:52

Calm down. I'm sure they've not only heard that excuse but plenty worse. If that's the reason, that's what she should tell them, especially so they know if a bug is making the rounds.

blondymoments 2

Wednesday 8 September 2010 20:54

could have been worse. she could have said u have "explosive diarrhoea"  lol

hcovballer247 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 21:54

Lmfao your mother has quite a personality....

StitchedBear 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 22:06

aww that's so embarassing

cusof 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 22:17

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Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 351

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 315

The Top

Today, while traveling with my cat, I had a mini-freakout when I realized that I left his favorite toy in the hotel room. I'm a 30-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 222

You deserved it 9 593

Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 040

You deserved it 31 140

Today, the man I love chose yet another woman over me. For months and months on end I’ve been trying to make him see that I would make a great girlfriend and life companion, yet he dismisses me and chooses other people. What do they have that I don’t? What do I have to do to be good enough? FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 945

Today, I have blue lips because of a guy whose face I don't even remember didn't know the difference between kissing and sucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 253

You deserved it 26 178

Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 812

You deserved it 4 240

Today, I got pulled by a cop because I forgot to put my registration sticker on. I get nervous around authority and have nervous shakes. I ripped the registration sticker 3 times trying to put it on. The cop then gave me a ticket for "Improper Equipment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 735

You deserved it 7 052