By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 231
You deserved it 4 876
Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Luckster 0

He's old enough to where his sexist remarks make sense. 70 years younger and I woulda bitch slapped him with my metal-decorated bike gloves on.

26 5

Comments

Duckasaurus 0

HELL YEAH, GET YOURSELF A GOOD GUY WHO KEEPS YOU IN THE KITCHEN. MAKE SOME SAMMICHES.

9 12
JohnnyAppleseed 0

I want mine with mustard.

6 12
White667 0

Get the boob job and a cook book and the boyfriend will come fairly easy. Yet another example of money buying happiness.

7 7
Zhejan 0

Make mine with mayo. Lots of white, creamy mayo.

2 9
violentturtle 0

Maybe it wasn't even directed towards her. Maybe he was just another old man wandering around giving advice on life to all the whippersnappers.

3 1
Veritas143 0

Thats what i was thinking...but as most self conscious girls they have to take everything personally..again self-conscious girls not all girls

7 3
FarSide 22

Dang good advice. Unless you are a fat chick.

5 5
Intellectualist 0

fat chicks need love too!

0 1
popoman 0

Always listen to those with experience.

4 3
andydawg8891 0

Well, if you listen to him chances are you can get hooked up with some old rich guy. He kicks the buckets and leaves you with all his stuff..... haven't I heard this somewhere before? Wise Man Indeed

5 1
StoryOfTheYear 14

lauralatch, they can get love from their mom, everyone else thinks they could do with a cut in cookie intake

0 0
snagglepaste 0

AMEN! Bitches get back in the kitchen!

1 1
laurabev 9

Actually that sounds like just what I need :P

0 1
n_epic_fail 14

a cookbook so you don't starve a boyfriend to keep you happy and a boob job to keep the boyfriend happy... the man knows what he's talking about.

0 0
crudeandrudeguy 29

Even women love boobs, the world benefits by adding in another set of great boobs

0 0
Starchild21 3

That was pretty disrespectful of him, but that's assuming you don't confide in him on a normal basis. If you do then he may have a point, after all he's going with the stereotypical aspect of what a guy wants.

3 2
fakkumairaifu 14

A guy wants a girl with a boyfriend?

4 0
sephirothyeti 0

Exactly. We want most that which we cannot have. Nothing is more desirable than the unobtainable.

1 0
moonlight_daze 8

Abso-*******-lutely, #87! ;-)

0 0
moonlight_daze 8

..Although the desire for what you can't have tends to be even stronger for the female gender

2 1
trapiadora 0

hahahaha i guess you have to take it with a grain of salt

4 6
YDImate 0

buy the cook book to impess a guy to be your boyfriend then get the boyfriend to get the bppb job

0 3
Luckster 0

He's old enough to where his sexist remarks make sense. 70 years younger and I woulda bitch slapped him with my metal-decorated bike gloves on.

26 5
Luckster 0

Eh...my math sucks....60 years younger, excuse me.

2 3
Luckster 0

I'm tired, so my brain isn't working too well today.

1 2
Malika_fml 0

haha I'd smack a 16 year old for that comment as well :P

9 1
Starchild21 3

She's not 16, according to her comment she's 26, but her profile says 20??

0 0
pdavila 0

She's saying the old man would need to be 60 years younger for her to slap him. This means he'd be 26 and she'd be 20. Makes sense.

5 1
Luckster 0

There you go! You can be my brain for the day cause mine ain't working. XD

2 2
brendalovee_ 0

what the hell, that guy is such a douche. lol that was beyond disrespectful in so many ways.

12 9
jackkerouc9 0

OP you must live on the seacoast. This sounds like the crackerjack old folks that infest the area.

2 3
Sun_Kissed18 25

Well isn't he an ass... I would have punched him and yelled "COOK THIS!" lol :) Oh and don't worry about the boob comment, lot's of guys like small boobs :) you don't need surgery just to please some guys!

11 8
ChronicFAIL 0

Pffft that's what I'm sayin !! What good are boobs anyway? All you need is a mouthful... ;D

3 4
RataBlanca 0

Meh, the cook book isn't that necessary...

1 5