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By Vampprobs - 25/03/2014 01:52 - United States - Skandia

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 153
You deserved it 3 226
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Top comments

bigtaytay 13

Tell him if he keeps it up your parents will eat him

343 4
minauto 15

Act the part! Put on some fangs and a cape. You could have so much fun with your neighbor.

317 3

Comments

ariiewilliams 17

So do you sparkle, burst into flames, or remain normal in the sunlight?

50 5
Hiimhaileypotter 52

Well, if he sparkled he'd be a fairy. :)

19 1
Rozay333 36

This is a perfect opportunity to scare the crap out if him! xD

24 1
LisaDay 14

id be the neighbor who gives him more reasons to believe. pretend to do a satanic ritual in your yard to "summon your friends"

28 3
OhWhoCares 42

Time to break out a pentagram, Ouija board, and candles, OP. Don't forget the sacrificial animal blood offering. :)

4 0
blackonblight 32

Human blood is too expensive, you can get pigs blood from the local butcher shop and not deprive anyone of a transfusion. And better quantity that way. Though if you're attempting something Enochian, one of the summonings from the Key of Solomon or something employing classic demonology imagery, good luck, you'll be up for days drawing diagrams. That stuff is complex. Trying to read Dee and Kelley's work is brain hurting. Waite isn't much better. And don't get me started on Crowley's stuff.

2 2
Alastor13X 8

You have family coming!?!? I wouldn't see this as an FML, I would see this as an opportunity. Personally, I would start screaming stupid shit at him like " I am the day walker! " and start juggling garlic cloves on his front lawn. You can always just start twerking his windows if he has a porch with windows at ass level. Anyways, I would let your family know, and who knows... Maybe they will want to join in on the fun. If he thinks one vampire is bad, just think what a whole family of them will do to his head!

34 3
alycion 38

And this is why you don't go outside wearing nothing but body glitter.

11 11
BobRyder 24

Why on Earth are the cops still taking that idiot's calls after the 7th time? SMH.

10 1
Bekll 31

So go impress your parents. Gather up the free garlic cloves and make an awesome roasted garlic soup!

24 1
Razell 13

Ya srsly! Or start a garden. You should be able to just stick the cloves in the ground and watch them sprout. Ask him for different varieties of garlic to complete your collection.

2 0