Miscellaneous: Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's...

I am envisioning OP's mom got 4 boxes of pasta on sale and thought oh, that'll last me all year. Until OP plowed through them. One family's year supply may be different than another's.

TheBrochure 22

Friday 26 July 2013 13:05

Allons-y, Alonso!

irishmaiden78 23

Tuesday 30 July 2013 23:19

Shh, spoilers!

slap_u_much 6

Friday 26 July 2013 13:07

Who wouldn't

fakedsincerity 32

Friday 26 July 2013 13:18

Well that sounds healthy...

beclaurela 18

Friday 26 July 2013 13:29

My life.

Ruuku 11

Friday 26 July 2013 13:33

I took down 4 fudge cakes in an hour and all I got was diarrhea.

MidnaLink 33

Friday 26 July 2013 13:40

How the hell'd you do that?!?!

Keywords

Food Toxic Miscellaneous Family Gross Valentine's Day Love Health Home improvement Homeowners Awkward Drugs Kids Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Cats Animals Work Coworkers Airplanes Transportation Sleep Embarrassing Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, I made a heart-shaped pancake for my girlfriend as a surprise Valentine's Day breakfast. I flipped it too hard, and it landed on my cat. The cat then ran around the house with a pancake cape, and the surprise was ruined by the cat bolting into the bedroom, waking my girlfriend up, who's not a morning person at the best of times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 118

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 382

You deserved it 2 328

The Top

Today, I cleaned out my husband's drawer. He had kept every love letter I wrote him for the past 7 years. I smiled, struck by how romantic he was. My bliss was short-lived as I realized that he had also kept every single love letter his other lovers wrote him while we were married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 193

You deserved it 4 002

Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 186

You deserved it 2 614

Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 429

You deserved it 17 026

Today, I'd arranged a family reunion to see family I hadn't seen in years. Out of about 20 people, only 3 said they would come. One messaged to cancel the night before. The other two no-showed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 119

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 378

You deserved it 4 157

Today, I prepared for my first date in two years. I shaved my legs, did my hair and nails, painted my face, found the perfect outfit, then waited for hours for a man who never came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 274

You deserved it 340