Parents and Intimacy: Today, my parents think that I don't understand all the sexual...

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By wittlegirl - 13/07/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, my parents think that I don't understand all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table, "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 377

You deserved it 4 008

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Same thing different taste

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 224

You deserved it 4 190

Explain that one

By Anonymous - 21/08/2020 02:03

Today, I was eating dinner with my husband and his family. My father-in-law says to my mother-in-law, "You know what’s in your mouth? Sausage!" It was so random that I laughed, as quietly as I could. My husband then loudly asked me what was so funny. Everyone went quiet and looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 222

By confused_girl - 01/08/2013 05:10 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 403

You deserved it 5 045

Reading skills

By yudencow - 18/09/2019 18:00

Today, I showed my parents the latest excerpt from my first book. It's about narratology. My dad thought I was writing about meat. He read "peaks and valleys" as "pork and veal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 179

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 112

Damn, son

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 20:24 - United States - Lufkin

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 332

You deserved it 4 186

By ewmomew - 12/09/2010 04:07 - Canada

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 707

You deserved it 9 386

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 833

You deserved it 4 332

Degrading

By Failure2017 - 04/11/2017 19:30 - United States

Today, my husband referred to me as his “favorite meat sock” in front of our son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 472

You deserved it 485

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 04/06/2022 12:00

Today, my parents yet again spent over ten minutes discussing and joking about something minor about me, in this case my preference for Pepper Jack cheese over American. They've done this my whole life, and refuse to understand why I suffer from such crippling self-consciousness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 179

SexyBeast145 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:12

dude that's so gross hahaha

tnlander 20

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:15

Try the shock reply. "Dad no one at this table wants to eat your ****. Now can I please finish my dinner?" That will shut him up.

Comments

raphanne_fml 33

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:16

Bon appétit :D

lmaoatall 6

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:17

atleast she didn't give it a taste test at the table. that would have taken this fml to a whole new level!

chelseaaababyyy 17

Thursday 14 July 2011 4:16

your picture cracks me up lol

ladybug108 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:18

there are Somethings parents shouldn't hint about around their children.

oatsraw 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:18

you are what you eat TvT oooh my randomness

ThaHero 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:18

Everyone knows Keanu'a sausage is the best (Robot Chicken reference)

ayooBrandon 12

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:19

would you rather him actually talk about his "sausage"

ayooBrandon 12

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:24

oops I read the FML wrong

YFDIOP 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:52

sure. nice cover up lmao

TheSwimmer96 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 1:00

You're lucky you're cute!:)

howslife123 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:20

ew you ate your dads sausage?

smeesha 4

Thursday 14 July 2011 1:33

r u dumb?

kraine0712 2

Thursday 14 July 2011 2:54

Yes. Yes, he/she is.

Sammydubbs 2

Thursday 14 July 2011 5:08

How about you read the FML properly then you won't look like a dumbass :)

Thomato_fml 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 6:05

*Facepalm*

magicdragon5 2

Thursday 14 July 2011 9:04

what the hell are you talking about? it didn't say anything like that.

imtheboctilian 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:21

that's f'd up

pieintheface 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:25

yell thats what she said every time. then they'll stop

barbiesaurus 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:28

I think you mean sexual "innuendo", not "euphemism".

an9876 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 1:25

probably an autocorrect problem for OP lol

DrewsFML 8

Thursday 14 July 2011 2:28

I would go with innuendo too. The dad's entire sentence was sexual innuendo, while the single word "sausage" is a euphemism for the more graphic "****" or penis. OP experienced both, technically.