Parents and Intimacy: Today, my parents think that I don't understand all the sexual...

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By wittlegirl - 13/07/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, my parents think that I don't understand all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table, "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 377

You deserved it 4 008

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Same thing different taste

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 224

You deserved it 4 190

Explain that one

By Anonymous - 21/08/2020 02:03

Today, I was eating dinner with my husband and his family. My father-in-law says to my mother-in-law, "You know what’s in your mouth? Sausage!" It was so random that I laughed, as quietly as I could. My husband then loudly asked me what was so funny. Everyone went quiet and looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 222

By confused_girl - 01/08/2013 05:10 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 403

You deserved it 5 045

Reading skills

By yudencow - 18/09/2019 18:00

Today, I showed my parents the latest excerpt from my first book. It's about narratology. My dad thought I was writing about meat. He read "peaks and valleys" as "pork and veal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 179

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 112

Damn, son

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 20:24 - United States - Lufkin

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 332

You deserved it 4 186

By ewmomew - 12/09/2010 04:07 - Canada

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 707

You deserved it 9 386

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 833

You deserved it 4 332

Degrading

By Failure2017 - 04/11/2017 19:30 - United States

Today, my husband referred to me as his “favorite meat sock” in front of our son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 472

You deserved it 485

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 04/06/2022 12:00

Today, my parents yet again spent over ten minutes discussing and joking about something minor about me, in this case my preference for Pepper Jack cheese over American. They've done this my whole life, and refuse to understand why I suffer from such crippling self-consciousness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 179

SexyBeast145 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:12

dude that's so gross hahaha

tnlander 20

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:15

Try the shock reply. "Dad no one at this table wants to eat your ****. Now can I please finish my dinner?" That will shut him up.

Comments

kiitykat 8

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:50

that must stink big time

SweetInk 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:50

fml you suck only half my post shows up all the time were the hell does the other half go

mk58 31

Thursday 14 July 2011 1:10

The other half ran away.

WallyTheWombat 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 14:24

I found the other half of this one... FML ! . ?

tyty22796 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:56

hahah lmao

RandOmPhyXiO 5

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:56

fck your life man just fck your life

fina444 10

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:56

eww disgusting

victorcharlie 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:58

how the **** does he know what his own sausage taste like?

somewizdom 15

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:59

DO you also like to lick off the mayo?

switchgurl20 17

Thursday 14 July 2011 1:02

Tell ur bf in front of ur parents "my dad's sausages are big and plump but im sure urs are jucier and bigger" or something to help him stfu

cheesymcpuffs234 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 1:07

lovely...

cjamison62 2

Thursday 14 July 2011 1:07

yuk!

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The Top

Today, the person who bullied me throughout my childhood eventually resulting in me going to therapy and switching schools became my boss. On top of that, he refers to me by the insulting nickname he called me during childhood. It's good to see that growing up hasn't changed him at all. FML

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You deserved it 422

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression, I was as polite as possible, and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner, my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML

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I agree, your life sucks 830

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You deserved it 1 054

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I agree, your life sucks 49 807

You deserved it 5 337

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I agree, your life sucks 34 807

You deserved it 5 067

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I agree, your life sucks 7 216

You deserved it 47 261

Same thing different taste

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