Health, Cake, Roommate and Drugs: Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment....

By Cookie - 22/12/2011 18:11 - South Africa

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 732

You deserved it 8 521

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By its_all_legit - 19/03/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 464

You deserved it 127 826

Self report

By banana12321 - 02/04/2015 04:40 - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 206

You deserved it 30 482

By Bontempi - 19/07/2012 18:55 - France

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 633

You deserved it 42 705

By brizzle - 05/04/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 481

You deserved it 6 360

Baked

By non-baker - 18/03/2015 02:12 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 138

You deserved it 9 033

High on life

By badsister - 10/01/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year-old sister passed out on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 220

You deserved it 59 750

By college kid - 31/07/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 238

You deserved it 5 381

Cotton Eye Joe

By Anonymous - 13/09/2009 09:27 - United States

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling, "Who's your daddy?" at his plate of barbecued meat, and my mom just sat there with that, "What the hell happened to my life?" look on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 337

You deserved it 4 558

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 09:43 - United States

Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 565

You deserved it 4 450

By thissucks - 21/02/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 572

You deserved it 3 419

MSheary1993 1

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:37

I was gonna clean my room but then I got high!

finished 10

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:35

Call them and find out you'll be less worried :)

Comments

zeon492 13

Friday 23 December 2011 5:38

It must of been good cake. :P

Track1991 0

Friday 23 December 2011 6:11

Haha oh my gosh, that is too funny. It might be awkward when he sees his parents next.

misterme101 2

Friday 23 December 2011 6:20

Who's up for some crystal meth cupcakes?

RomanBeauty 0

Friday 23 December 2011 6:23

Best story of the day

Webslinger66 10

Friday 23 December 2011 6:28

Trust me. They had a great time. No worries bro

auddylynne 0

Friday 23 December 2011 6:35

Bahaha! I've accidentally eaten weed brownies before haha....it was great. ;P

ForeverGLFan 6

Friday 23 December 2011 6:43

Ugh...that will take some serious convincing to make your parents believe that wasn't yours. Sorry man.

Honda288 2

Friday 23 December 2011 7:44

At least you know your roommate can cook!

michael90 0

Friday 23 December 2011 7:58

Not really funny but it is.

mccutie936 6

Friday 23 December 2011 8:05

Yumm

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The Top

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 572

You deserved it 6 604

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

The Top

Today, I got my hair trimmed to look fresh for my sister's wedding this week. The woman messed up so badly that the manager had to step in and fix it. I lost 8 inches of hair and my dad keeps telling me I look like a medieval stable boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 205

You deserved it 367

Today, I found out my brother and his girlfriend stole my wedding ring, my checkbook and my disabled son's iPad to fuel their drug habit. I'm $600 overdrawn and have no food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 117

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a poly relationship. He said he wants to sleep with other people, but I can't in case I get feelings for them. Thats not what poly means, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 162

Today, I found out that not only does my sister consider Fox News "reliable" but her husband has been buying Trump merchandise. They owe me $1,900 but they're literally giving a millionaire money instead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 443

Today, my boyfriend randomly decided to let me know that he believes there's really no such thing as cheating, unless both partners explicitly agree that the relationship is monogamous. And no, he wouldn't agree that ours is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 802

You deserved it 4 906

Today, my family asked me to get dinner, as they'd heard a popular seafood chain had chicken baskets for $4 each. I had $15 on me. When I got there, the restaurant staff laughed in my face and insisted they had never, ever had $4 chicken baskets. The alternative? $14 for ONE chicken dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 173