Intimacy: Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's... - FML

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 226

You deserved it 18 912

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Same thing different taste

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 442

You deserved it 4 845

Manchild

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 296

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 840

You deserved it 6 060

By wookieewhosshe - 19/03/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 397

Cheeky

By woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 235

You deserved it 3 610

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 507

You deserved it 46 408

By Anonymous - 14/11/2011 05:09 - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 297

You deserved it 4 657

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Spicy

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 569

You deserved it 6 833

You tried

By Loveless - 10/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 160

You deserved it 5 702

By fetch boy.. - 05/08/2013 05:28 - United States - Bellmore

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 524

You deserved it 18 323

Next

Top comments

MilanKing 0

Monday 9 May 2011 12:01

you're lucky it was only his nose.

Fish_999 0

Monday 9 May 2011 12:01

haha u enjoyed it really!

Comments

FAYUL12345100 3

Wednesday 11 May 2011 4:47

Oh, thank goodness. I thought it said "my boyfriend stuck his nose in my ass".

4evermossin 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 5:09

instinctively the dog saw you were vulnerable therefore taking advantage of the chance

sabiancymbol 1

Wednesday 11 May 2011 6:27

kinky

angrynegro7 16

Wednesday 11 May 2011 6:43

Could have been worse, OP. He could have tried for some surprise butt sex. D:

pike1346 3

Wednesday 11 May 2011 20:31

that will wake u up. a cold wet nose on the brown corn hole

Igor_g5 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 20:56

Was it fun?

assviolation 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 23:00

atleast it wasn't a dog that likes to hump stuff...

Chaos5 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 23:22

This is the start of a new sex positions. Lol

chloeeXD 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 0:04

that's a new doggy style

Airborn0280 18

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:22

GOOD MORNING!!!

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Keywords

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The Top

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You deserved it 1 044

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You deserved it 22 713

The Top

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You deserved it 3 233

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I agree, your life sucks 12 094

You deserved it 53 013

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I agree, your life sucks 10 805

You deserved it 49 245

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I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 115

Today, it’s been 20 years since my then girlfriend of 2 weeks fell asleep while I was going down on her. She claimed it was because she was so ‘relaxed’ with me. I married her anyway. Now, she’s still very, very ‘relaxed’ with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 451

Today, I’m unemployed with no children and hardly any social life, so you’d think my life was a constant, boring holiday, when in fact I'm so busy every day that I think I might have to designate myself a “day off” just to recover from the stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 352