By cjw - 06/03/2013 00:07 - United States

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 590
You deserved it 4 322
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Top comments

SApprentice 34

Buy a can of spray paint and spray over it. It'll look like hell, but you're going to have to get it fixed anyway, and I doubt you'll be able to make it very far with it the way it is. Oh, and go to the cops if you can. Paint jobs are expensive, and you don't need to deal with that kind of crap.

368 5
Subtext 10

Just spray paint her address and contact information under the "Free Candy" :)

288 2

Comments

starw0lf 31

I hope you can get it painted soon. Just imagine the throngs of concerned parents to which you have to defend yourself from. You will have to shout, "I'm not a pedo!" Then you have the kids and adults coming up to the van and you will have to yell, "I don't have any candy!"

29 4
RedPillSucks 31

Sorry, All I could think of was parents running around in their thongs.... Then I reread your comment.

9 1
michaeljcaboose 7

Just think of what it will look like when his own kid gets in the van and he drives away!

3 2
boofgall 16

Spray paint "I have hep B!" on her vehicle bumper.

35 3
lishajoy777 14

People might just feel bad for her...

9 4
boofgall 16

But who excitedly puts that with a "!" At the end?

18 2
lishajoy777 14

Someone who wants to get awareness out there? Idk.. he did say she was psychopathic right?

4 8
kman8599 8

Cuz nothing beats committing a crime as revenge for committing a crime...

9 4
poopsi 19

Genius... Evil, evil genius... But no seriously, just get it painted over, and then plot your revenge...

17 1
perdix 29

Just spray paint under that, "*with the purchase of $100 or more of Amway products." Even little kids know to shun the Amway cult.

59 9
randii_17 11

Now I feel dumb for not knowing what Amway is... :(

0 1
perdix 29

#88, actually, when you do know what Amway is, you get dumber. It's multi-level marketing of household products where getting stuck in a pyramid scheme is the main point. That's all you can know without forfeiting IQ points.

1 2
ocramavaf 15

go to all the worse local bars and. advertise her as a prostitute that's doing a free anal sex week, alternatively notify the police about her before this all gets out of hand

10 18
gc327072 30

Nah, just post her number in the cesspools of /b/.

7 3
Sir_Swaggington 6

Spray paint over it until you can get it fixed? Or tape some cardboard over it. I saw the latter in a movie once lol.

5 4
kacidia 7

You should spray paint "I

0 7
perdix 29

Or add "Johnson" or any other common last name, and play it off like your protesting her wrongful imprisonment.

55 4
HoboSmeller 6

free candy johnson!! she is innocent!

15 4
perdix 29

#37, sorry, man. It was the middle of the night for me. I was exhausted!

12 1
kacidia 7

You should spray paint "I heart Vagisil!" On her car lol

7 3
perdix 29

She's probably tipped off Chris Hanson, too. Fill your van full of fresh fruits and vegetables, and tell the "To Catch a Predator" crew that you are in Michelle Obama's Secret Army trying to trick kids into eating healthy by any means necessary.

42 4