Miscellaneous: Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing,...

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By crankg - 21/10/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 566

You deserved it 55 374

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Same thing different taste

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 2 057

Hangover time

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 409

You deserved it 30 870

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 012

You deserved it 53 201

Close call

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 04:00 - United States - Bremerton

Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 490

By Anonymous - 29/01/2019 16:00

Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 239

By Anonymous - 30/08/2018 23:30

Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 901

You deserved it 423

Can't handle my drinks

By Anonymous - 06/02/2025 07:00 - Philippines - San Jose del Monte

Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 740

Keep it down

By Andy - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 822

You deserved it 4 543

By goldenshower - 05/02/2010 18:22 - United States

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 503

You deserved it 56 533

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 134

You deserved it 46 997

ambowew 7

Friday 21 October 2011 11:58

Really? You'd rather piss in a pot plant than simply ignore everyone while you walk to the toilet.

Tarak_fml 7

Friday 21 October 2011 11:59

Why exactly did that seem like a good idea?

Comments

Poetaster 10

Friday 21 October 2011 17:07

It's your roommate that should be posting this. Your just a pig.

annafii 7

Friday 21 October 2011 17:27

...I'd've just used a bottle. Or gone out the window. Oh, but to have penis...

xzenofx 4

Friday 21 October 2011 17:32

That just f'ed up. U can walk past them say hi piss and go back to ur room??????

Okayitwasme 0

Friday 21 October 2011 17:39

Maybe it's time you got out on your own.

Timmeeh 17

Friday 21 October 2011 17:42

Surely weighing up the pros and cons, on balance, 5 minutes of small talk > pissing in a plant pot, even without missing.

eftup 9

Friday 21 October 2011 17:55

Are you fully retarded?

SonicRainboom 3

Friday 21 October 2011 18:14

That sucks but i've been there; use a bottle or force yourself not to close the door to your room so your not afraid to leave. Give a nod and a wave when people first arrive and they won't bother with you anymore.