Kids: Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how...

By grrrr - 08/02/2010 00:35 - United States

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 421

You deserved it 2 895

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 02:12 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

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You deserved it 6 881

I just can't hide it

By doomeddaddy - 03/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 250

You deserved it 3 237

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 634

You deserved it 4 379

Spray it loud

By anonymous - 16/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 289

You deserved it 2 086

By tony - 24/07/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 606

You deserved it 7 673

By Joey - 30/01/2011 17:21 - United States

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 053

You deserved it 3 380

By TiredMommy - 20/04/2017 18:00 - United States - Southbridge

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

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You deserved it 519

By Bad Mother - 08/10/2015 11:53 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 015

You deserved it 1 914

Choose your moments

By jcesom - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 308

You deserved it 6 202

Good boy

By anonymous - 16/03/2011 02:05

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 184

You deserved it 6 158

Endymion_fml 0

Monday 8 February 2010 9:40

Pee on him right back. That'll show who's boss.

Yulia_fml 0

Monday 8 February 2010 10:05

It's not his fault if everyone's always telling kids to apply what they learn in school.

Comments

kimicalassassin 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 5:25

I must have monkeys. They all did the slinging sh!t thing.

quraishakrueger 4

Tuesday 9 February 2010 15:43

mark it with yours! :D

radcon6 2

Wednesday 10 February 2010 18:53

thats funny.

MrMaelstrom 3

Tuesday 9 February 2010 17:37

Do not punish your child. Educate the child. Marking territory means dominating. Taking ownership, if you will. Make sure the child knows it belongs to you by pissing on the child's head. Education is very important at a young age...