Kids: Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how...

By grrrr - 08/02/2010 00:35 - United States

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 420

You deserved it 2 893

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 02:12 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 873

You deserved it 6 877

I just can't hide it

By doomeddaddy - 03/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 246

You deserved it 3 234

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 632

You deserved it 4 378

Spray it loud

By anonymous - 16/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 284

You deserved it 2 084

By tony - 24/07/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 601

You deserved it 7 673

By Joey - 30/01/2011 17:21 - United States

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 050

You deserved it 3 380

By TiredMommy - 20/04/2017 18:00 - United States - Southbridge

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

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You deserved it 518

By Bad Mother - 08/10/2015 11:53 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 008

You deserved it 1 913

By jcesom - 01/08/2009 06:35 - United States

Today, my father taught my son to pee on trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 930

You deserved it 6 115

Good boy

By anonymous - 16/03/2011 02:05

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 181

You deserved it 6 158

Endymion_fml 0

Monday 8 February 2010 9:40

Pee on him right back. That'll show who's boss.

Yulia_fml 0

Monday 8 February 2010 10:05

It's not his fault if everyone's always telling kids to apply what they learn in school.

Comments

Gum_fml 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 20:33

it's amazing what the schools are doing to mold you childrens minds nowadays

trumpetGIRL12345 0

Friday 12 March 2010 4:40

I was sirious put him in a crate!!! how old is he cuz u gotta do something about this

RyuB 0

Monday 27 September 2010 10:11

oh, my. poor you. bet you're looking forward to his rebellious years as a teenager. sadly, being a male, he will probably find some new disgusting thing to do once he's tired of that. console yourself with the hope that he may get some girl pregnant when he's 16 and you can kick him out. and whatever you do, don't forget to tell that story at his wedding reception.

luke1998 0

Friday 4 March 2011 7:27

ive peed in my cats liter box it was funny

XXizzlerXX 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 7:14

haha

Garcia512 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 16:45

don't go up there he might attack lol

stevenJB 25

Sunday 23 October 2011 12:05

Tell him to "please respect mah athoritah!!"

jujuroxursox 15

Monday 22 April 2013 20:57

That's a piss poor job of understanding the difference between human and animal

ViviMage 38

Saturday 15 August 2015 1:53

Get nature's miracle from a local pet store, or try vinegar on hard surfaces/baking soda on carpets. And explain he is not an animal, this is unacceptable behavior for humans. Ground him. No cell phone, no internet, etc. Or better yet, make him clean up the pee mess. Make him realize how not cool this was.