Kids: Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take...

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 632

You deserved it 4 378

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Same thing different taste

By finalyearsofhate - 13/03/2017 22:00

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 300

You deserved it 561

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 094

You deserved it 450

Good boy

By anonymous - 16/03/2011 02:05

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 181

You deserved it 6 157

By TiredMommy - 20/04/2017 18:00 - United States - Southbridge

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 570

You deserved it 518

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 183

I just can't hide it

By doomeddaddy - 03/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 246

You deserved it 3 234

So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 955

You deserved it 435

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 23:54 - United States

Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's the window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 768

You deserved it 9 581

That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!

By Anonymous - 08/01/2018 09:00 - United States - Thomasville

Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 780

You deserved it 818

By kewtness_17 - 01/10/2011 23:10 - United States

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 555

You deserved it 12 175

sammichbitch 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 16:03

that's actually ******* hilarious

SoNotForYou 5

Tuesday 9 February 2010 16:13

if he's young enough to wear a diaper you should know what he's doing at all times

Comments

CallMeHush 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 18:27

Grandma did that just before we put her in the home. (joking)

lmaoatyourlife 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 18:33

I'm just wondering how your child managed to do all of that without you knowing, sounds like he moved all around the house. Children in nappies are usually under 2, or at least 3, so where was you?! It's not really an FML if you had of been watching your child then it wouldn't of been so bad.

guiltydwight 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 18:39

probably learned by example

sidvoltaire 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 18:39

according to cracked.com the bastard probably did it intentionally.

randohsix 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 18:49

probably made this up for FML honestly. but damn everybody here must have a degree in parenting, jeez kids do funny stuff all the time give the man a break

intensitive 11

Tuesday 9 February 2010 19:20

How is that even true? Bush made it to adulthood.

solothadon 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 19:33

lol kids

MermaidSongXOXO 6

Tuesday 9 February 2010 19:59

Actually, a dog that does that has anal gland problems, not worms, but...... Anyways, tell your son not to do that anymore. I'm sure it's not a problem if he acts like that at a young age. I mean, just look at how well Bush turned out. Wait---