I don't care how much I love you; my kids come first & I would never put anyone above them. Your step-daughter might have been a monster but until you developed your own relationship, you would have no say over how she's raised. That's MY child. I agree that house rules should be enforced so to that degree you can have a say because it's your house to but it's also the child's. Respect has to be earned on all sides. Just because a parent made a decision about their own life doesn't mean the child should be stuck with the consequences. If OP doesn't live with their dad permanently, I would say ignore it. Just stay with your mom & see your dad in public (if a teen). If OP does live full time with their dad, I think it's a problem that he didn't even consider OP's feelings on the matter of something as important as marriage. You don't allow just anyone around your children & people hide ugly well. That's why everyone needs time together to get to know each other & bond. For someone who claims to have had so many step-dads, you'd think that would cross your mind. Besides, adults are not always right. That's something my mother taught me when I was younger & she was completely right. There's so many people playing at Grown Up that are just insecure children in disguise that I would never take an adult at face value. On the other hand, children aren't angels. They need discipline & structure, which doesn't happen overnight. You have to take the time to build trust in children just like you have to do with other people. All of this is just a long winded way of telling you that your response was actually very shortsighted & immature. Seemed like it came from a dick. But hey. I don't know your life.

I'd dare you to try that with me and my siblings. Especially after only meeting us and moving into OUR home. Thankfully we had an annoying step father who did push us but also got to know us before setting limits. Oh and yes we glued the phone to his face the toilet to his ass, also used his color blindness against him, yet guess what he gave as good as he got. Learn them before you try to be an authority figure. You do know just because your over 18 doesn't make you an adult. An adult is someone who realizes each person has feelings. Oh and when he tried this is my house crap he was told to get out probably like you were, he was allowed back after we all agreed. Also an adult doesn't slander a child no matter how bad they are And trust me we were no angels and neither are my children but still they have a name and shouldn't be labeled.