Health: Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass...

By DocBastard, meet DocCunt - 18/10/2013 22:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 195

You deserved it 3 534

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Same thing different taste

Crossing a line

By Anonymous - 20/02/2015 19:25 - United States - Wapakoneta

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 018

You deserved it 3 360

By Anonymous - 31/10/2013 20:42 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 640

You deserved it 3 547

It's alive!

By yes I felt EVERYTHING - 11/01/2022 20:01

Today, I went in for surgery. All my life, my biggest fear has been that the anesthesia would paralyze me, but not actually put me to sleep. The doctors assured me the chances of that are almost none. You can probably guess how my surgery went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 142

Nice family you've got there

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 816

You deserved it 2 651

By pong - 06/08/2013 21:59 - France - Toulouse

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 015

You deserved it 4 070

Am I being Punk'd?

By Anonymous - 05/06/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was told by a doctor that I have a fatal disease, and that I should start making preparations for when I pass away. Then, another doctor showed up, panicking, and said that was meant for someone else with the same first name as me. The mini-heart attack I had at that moment almost killed me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 90

Surgery gone rogue

By Anonymous - 03/06/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 988

You deserved it 11 438

By NoPainNoGain - 17/09/2009 14:31 - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 415

You deserved it 2 605

By deadman - 09/07/2012 18:25 - United Kingdom - Market Harborough

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 388

You deserved it 2 478

By Anonymous - 08/07/2011 15:46 - Belgium

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 458

You deserved it 2 695

DocBastard 38

Saturday 19 October 2013 2:48

It's like I always say, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Then again, hope is not a very good diagnostic or therapeutic tool.

tencentsakiss 19

Saturday 19 October 2013 2:33

This sucks, but they have to be honest with you about the risk.

Comments

carmagnet 11

Saturday 19 October 2013 7:11

He is covering his ass so you or your family can't sue him. I know a couple of people that have had bypass operations. They say the recovery was bad because it is so long and boring. But had no complications in surgery. Good luck! I hope everything goes well!

Oley 27

Saturday 19 October 2013 7:14

I'm 28 years old & I've had 6 open heart surgeries. I'm still alive. It's not a fully healthy and energy filled life, but it's a life! Good luck! I'm sure everything will be just fine!

eternal_malaise 10

Saturday 19 October 2013 7:14

The consultation is worse than the cure.

saraitkddh 47

Saturday 19 October 2013 9:17

Good luck, hope it will goes well

Mightytall 35

Saturday 19 October 2013 10:27

Wish you all the best! Doctors have to give you the "Cover Your Ass" speech to make you aware of the risks and protect themselves from malpractice suits and other crap. Especially heart surgery is complicated. One of my friends did a year of training at a heart surgeon's and said it is like changing the valve on a running engine... then he went to make giant boobies instead :-)

freckleface221 19

Saturday 19 October 2013 11:46

They have to tell you that stuff or they can get in big trouble. When I got my wisdom teeth out I had to watch a video telling me that I could die.

joshgoyke 4

Saturday 19 October 2013 14:37

Who ever clicked you deserved it should just gtfo

envyelric 6

Saturday 19 October 2013 18:29

That's super professional.

gAt_d 26

Saturday 19 October 2013 20:04

My Dad had a quadruple bypass yesterday, yes it was risky but necessary. I'm happy to report he's up and moving a little bit and the surgery went well! I hope that gives you some hope, OP!

Quiet_one 22

Saturday 19 October 2013 22:02

My granddad also had a bypass surgery several years ago, and he recovered from it smoothly as well. It's part of the doctor's job to make sure you're well-informed before you agree to any procedures, and there really is no such thing as a "risk-free" surgery. It's scary, but sometimes it's necessary.