By DocBastard, meet DocCunt - 18/10/2013 22:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 195
You deserved it 3 534
The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

DocBastard 38

It's like I always say, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Then again, hope is not a very good diagnostic or therapeutic tool.

253 7
tencentsakiss 19

This sucks, but they have to be honest with you about the risk.

240 2

Comments

ImTheAlpha 30

DocCunt doesn't flow as nicely as DocBastard. Now, DocDick on the other hand... Nah, that still sucks. Someone, come up with a better name for DocCunt!

4 26
DocBastard 38

I was strongly considering "DocAsshole" when I first registered many moons ago, but Didi, Sirin, and Alan ganged up on me and threatened to anally violate me with a Coke bottle if I didn't tone it down. It has been DocBastard ever since. My profile picture isn't me, honest. No really, it isn't. I swear.

65 1
graceinsheepwear 33

DocBastard is the toned down alternative to DocAsshole? Interesting hierarchy of profanity. DocBastard IS better but I wouldn't say toned down.

8 5
Beepbeep7 14

Docbastard, I myself love the name and enjoy reading your comments on here.

9 1
jennabeigh 7

Yeah, as a nurse it's basically standard procedure to inform about the risks. It's a part of the "informed consent" haha :)

11 3
1dvs_bstd 41

You'll be fine! im sure the doc is obligated to tell you the risks.. y'know for legal purposes and shit.. it'll good smoothly, try to worry less bro, gluck.

6 1
perdix 29

Did he ask if your wife looks hot in Widow Black?

24 5
JM71195 9

FYL for having to get the surgery but they kinda have to tell you that stuff because by law they to tell you EVERYTHING that could possibly happen and has happened

6 0
TedNg 8

Totally reminds me of that sham doctor in Family Guy!

3 0
Futacy 29

Do you have any idea how expensive medical school is!? Well I bet it's pretty expensive.

6 1
1dvs_bstd 41

Homer's triple bypass here!

1 3
yeongji 31

It is better to hear it from the surgeon than from someone else. Good luck on your surgery!

1 0
perdix 29

Oh, you thought your lifetime of drinking, smoking and eating fried foods on the couch would be fixed up with the convenience of a haircut? If you've made it to the point where you require bypass surgery, you've cheated death once already!

25 10
obviousboy 8

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that he did something (or was not doing things he should have) and that he didn't suddenly wake up one morning and need a heart bypass.

0 11
hooligyn123 18

I know a very in shape 52 year old marathon runner who went in for a routine check up and wound up finding out he needed a triple heart bypass, the doctors were surprised he hasn't had severe symptoms at that point... Sometimes its other causes than cheeseburgers...

11 0
DocBastard 38

Obviousboy - The difference between you and perdix is that he was making a joke. You are just an idiot.

25 4