Health: Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next...

By Anonymous - 11/06/2016 05:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 431

You deserved it 1 729

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By mental - 25/10/2012 23:09 - United States

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 622

You deserved it 6 077

By Anonymous - 27/12/2018 18:00 - United States - Floral Park

Today, I realized the only real accomplishment I've had in my life that I take any pride in is that I've had an FML published. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 383

You deserved it 432

By Zoo - 07/05/2019 14:00

Today, I went to therapy. Previously, I had been given the task to write a list of things I hate about myself so my doctor could see what we needed to work on. I gave her the list, and she simply said, "Wow, I've never had someone give me such a long list." I had 55 items on the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 830

You deserved it 280

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 12/11/2024 20:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I took a deep breath and started journaling to "figure out my life." Two hours later, I had written four pages of ranting about my upstairs neighbor's loud footsteps and zero pages about my life goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 307

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 13:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 296

You deserved it 7 679

By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 08:24 - United States

Today, after complaining that I had nothing to write about in my weekly journal for college, my professor suggested in front of everyone that I should get a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 918

You deserved it 6 732

Send 'em in anyway

By mega_bite - 25/08/2021 13:31 - India

Today, again I wrote out another FML. Again, I deleted it before posting. Every FML I write would seem like I'm just making stuff up, or would be so obviously me that it would just cause me grief. My life is just an endless stream of weird stuff I can't tell family or friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 295

Alexa, play "Five Years" by David Bowie

By elle - 19/11/2013 17:31 - United States - Round Lake

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know… every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 564

You deserved it 3 393

Oh no…

By Elle - 23/02/2011 21:07 - United States

Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 506

You deserved it 22 415

Emotional

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 06:00

Today, I've been seeing a therapist after more than 20 years of struggles. I think I saw him cry during our sessions a few times. I guess that my inability to live my life at the fullest was hard earned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 151

fsomelife 26

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:08

We're always here for you to make your dreams come true, buddy.

H4H 15

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:11

You can impress a girl by telling her you have a published FML. Killing two birds with one stone!

Comments

PurpleMyth 28

Sunday 12 June 2016 1:06

Welcome to the club

soulreaper12296 28

Sunday 12 June 2016 1:22

Well guess what OP, you got the first one done! Now just to work on getting that girlfriend!

oldie_goldie 13

Sunday 12 June 2016 1:32

Thank you to the community for publishing this absolutely brilliant FML.

Ninjerman 7

Sunday 12 June 2016 1:37

Stay strong friend. You'll find your girl. The best ones are always worth waiting for.

Shmatterhorn 38

Sunday 12 June 2016 2:20

You've got one published before me. Good going, OP.

SteveDudleyUK 10

Sunday 12 June 2016 3:26

Your goal should be going on a round the world trip. Paid for by the money you will save in the next five years by not going to a therapist.

_EnderDoge 22

Sunday 12 June 2016 3:33

Well, you got one! More than I can say about myself, haha.

ZiGgY576 20

Sunday 12 June 2016 3:49

Congrats!

Pineapple_Salad 14

Sunday 12 June 2016 4:15

Well looks like you can check half of those goals off your list, good job

jonny_salsa 7

Sunday 12 June 2016 4:57

The comments on this FML are really positive. My faith in humanity is restored. On another note, you're halfway there OP! At this rate you'll have that girlfriend in no time