Kids: Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her...

By Anonymous - 21/07/2011 23:46 - Australia

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 975

You deserved it 15 772

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Same thing different taste

By lawdy - 21/05/2017 20:00

Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 480

You deserved it 639

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 063

You deserved it 6 154

By Anonymous - 19/08/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 766

You deserved it 5 950

By Anonymous - 10/01/2016 02:17 - United States - Akron

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 800

You deserved it 79 044

No refunds

By Anonymous - 18/09/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after my 4 year-old was so excited to be a big sister, hugging my belly every chance she got, counting down the days till the due date, my son was born this morning. She took one look at him and declared, “I don’t like him, leave him here, do we have to keep him?” then started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 131

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 17:44 - Netherlands - Haarlem

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 034

You deserved it 5 271

By GMD - 18/09/2012 20:20 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 284

You deserved it 7 207

Think of the environment

By Anonyname - 18/05/2014 19:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 904

You deserved it 10 605

Build your own

By Anonymous - 05/09/2024 13:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, after my wife gave birth to another of our daughters, she announced that this was the last one. When I reminded her I still needed a son to carry on my name, she replied, "Well, you've got four girls. You want a boy? Birth him yourself!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 1 726

Mystery man

By LifeSucks - 29/10/2008 11:57 - Canada

Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 712

You deserved it 3 982

Iamnotmyself 17

Friday 22 July 2011 9:25

Beer is my child, how dare you !

jewknowit710 2

Friday 22 July 2011 9:29

time to get her a puppy I'de say!

Comments

sesamehood 0

Friday 22 July 2011 9:39

"I never get paid in trident layers :("

Natadance4eva 0

Friday 22 July 2011 9:46

^^^^ lmao! wrong fml....

tateh22 1

Friday 22 July 2011 9:43

That's why you pretend dude, don't break her lil heart?

Jacobt24 19

Friday 22 July 2011 11:11

He didn't. Read it again.

gOlfwAng_fml 0

Friday 22 July 2011 9:50

better off being known as the fat dad, instead of the lying dad right?

TheCountess 4

Friday 22 July 2011 9:54

Why not just tell her the truth? I know it would be a let down for her, but she would get over it. She has to learn the facts eventually, so stop delaying the inevitable and level with her.