Kids: Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all...

By Grindyloo - 05/05/2012 10:06

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 415

You deserved it 2 848

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By dukebluedevils13 - 05/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 264

You deserved it 8 146

By Nikki - 03/08/2009 13:26 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my little cousin when we decided to go outside and have a "treasure hunt" in the backyard. The first thing we found? The bones of her pet dog who had passed away four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 281

You deserved it 5 700

RIP little guy

By Anonymous - 10/12/2014 19:58 - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said, "Avada kedavra!" She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 743

You deserved it 3 125

By RestlessDiesel - 18/04/2016 14:40 - United States - Hudson

Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 078

You deserved it 1 838

By deadfish - 03/10/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 353

You deserved it 61 676

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 674

You deserved it 7 332

By GlueAndCarrots - 20/08/2015 02:38 - Canada - Markham

Today, I told my daughter that we're going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog that we buried in our back yard last week so it can come along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 141

You deserved it 1 806

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 00:04 - United States - Reno

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 392

You deserved it 4 397

By Lifes_a_bust - 08/08/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 964

You deserved it 4 448

By Kate - 05/04/2019 22:00 - United States - Exton

Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 419

gigi96 2

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:08

Be like a flower and chuck fire at her

BoW2Me 0

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:11

Actually, it didn't die. It escaped in time and left another turtle in its place, for it was a ninja. And a mutant. And a teenager.

Comments

imboredareyou 1

Saturday 5 May 2012 21:39

Alright guys. I have read this over and over and I'm still not sure. Did the nephew kill the turtle, or after it died he jumped on it? I would assume the former, but, I am not sure.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Saturday 5 May 2012 22:32

Today, my TURTLE, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to “be like Mario” by jumping on her. FML Turtles are small, so it's most likely that the kid killed it.

Ashle1gh 14

Sunday 6 May 2012 14:47

I'm not entirely certain, but I believe the turtle was already dead.

Falassalond 16

Saturday 5 May 2012 21:40

How can this person deserve it? If anyone deserves something, it's the boy. An ass whooping he'll never forget.

poohappens26 0

Saturday 5 May 2012 21:57

Funny but sad for the poor turtle :( bust her ass :-) karma lil 5 yo karma!

Michael_92 20

Saturday 5 May 2012 21:59

At least he didn't find any of your secret mushrooms. Right? ...Right?

2Siccckkkkkey 2

Saturday 5 May 2012 22:06

Classic!

skyeyez9 24

Saturday 5 May 2012 22:07

A tortoise is probably one of the most docile and gentle creatures out there. It is akin to stomping on a duckling or kitten. Your nephew is a sadistic ********.