Sex, Virginity and Love: Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first.... - FML

By DC. - 08/02/2009 12:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 715

You deserved it 8 615

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/12/2013 18:50

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 935

You deserved it 9 845

Absolute beginners

By dancerr2210 - 09/06/2010 04:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 278

You deserved it 6 969

By Charles - 22/02/2009 15:10 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 551

You deserved it 5 706

Thanks for the pranks

By jellybeans - 21/03/2021 21:31

Spicy

Today, I've been sexting a mysterious guy from New Jersey. I was getting hot, so I decided to say, "I want you to be my first." Suddenly, my officemate who was two desks away from me waved her phone in hand and shouted, "You're a virgin?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 724

You deserved it 685

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 00:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, this guy I have been hanging out with for a while came over and we were about to do it. He pulled off my clothes and once I was naked I reached for his zipper. He just backed up and said he was a virgin and simply wanted to see me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 105

You deserved it 12 296

New Romantics

By sallyfradoodle - 13/03/2020 21:00

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 444

Testing the waters

By Anonymousss95 - 10/12/2011 12:03 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 710

You deserved it 13 393

By notsohappy - 18/02/2009 21:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118 919

You deserved it 11 084

By LALALA3 - 16/02/2009 23:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 924

You deserved it 10 021

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 328

You deserved it 38 092

Next

Top comments

greatbelow 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 23:16

It't not gay if your balls don't touch.

NorfolkDude 2

Sunday 8 February 2009 21:24

Maybe he's asking you for help and he just said it wrong. Maybe what he meant is that he wanted you to help him so he can get a "first." If he's serious though, and you're not gay, then tell him that you don't go that way. If you're really his friend, you'd help him out. He's probably confused.

Comments

Fall3nAngel 22

Saturday 4 December 2010 0:33

So what if he is a guy...?

ryanriola 0

Monday 20 December 2010 6:51

what do you mean so. **** the gays

texas1992 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 22:46

wow damn. you must be leading him on my guy lol.

PulselCie 3

Friday 17 June 2011 17:22

PWNED!!!!!!

TheTerenity 9

Monday 27 June 2011 5:38

If you say no, can I be your first? Jk Jk :)

deerslayer28 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 5:02

******* fagot

EPICROCKERNINJA 8

Friday 19 August 2011 3:23

(: Lol

yenidewi 11

Tuesday 11 October 2011 7:49

lol ...

shanniemac 2

Monday 24 October 2011 22:05

Wowwwwwww...

scarface847 13

Wednesday 7 December 2011 0:37

Do you look gay? Cause then that would explain why he asked.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 157

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, I worked for three hours writing very neat notes with one of those pens that erase. I felt very accomplished, so decided to share it on Facebook. I brought my computer over to my lap on top of my notes. Turns out heat from laptops smudges ink from eraseable pens. I can't read my notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 641

You deserved it 30 381

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 208

You deserved it 3 527

Today, I found out my parents only got pregnant with me because they were desperate for a bone marrow match for my brother, who ended up dying before I was born, and who I had no idea existed. What’s even more messed up is that they gave me his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 90

Today, my fiancé and I had to attend a wedding. Problem is, I suffer from a severe form of social anxiety. Since I was getting too close to a panic attack, he suggested drinking some wine to help me stay calm, and it worked. Up until I got drunk and threw up in the middle of the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 404

You deserved it 2 793

Today, I just got home from hospital after delivering an order of razor wire. One of the razors split my trousers and my sack open, my bollock was visibly hanging out of the giant slit in my sack and I had to go get it stitched shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 112

Today, for the millionth time, my mother grounded me for “giving her a dirty look.” I can't see my own face, and I was actually in a good mood at the time. Whenever I accidentally give someone a dirty look, it always comes as a complete surprise, and my mother refuses to believe this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 99