Miscellaneous: Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss... - FML

By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 19:10 - United States - Findlay

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a Diet Coke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 787

You deserved it 10 011

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Same thing different taste

By J - 11/02/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 187

You deserved it 8 854

By goldendarkness - 09/07/2016 01:34

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to stop by a drive-thru on the way to his place. I asked him to order a Coke for me, at which point he asked if I wanted to make it a Diet Coke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 768

You deserved it 2 967

By hadrienne's pall - 13/05/2016 19:25 - Canada - Markham

Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 977

You deserved it 4 283

By Hungryman - 15/01/2010 21:30 - France

Today, I ordered a Diet Coke with my meal from a fast food restaurant. Turns out, they didn't give me diet. My blood sugar spiked and I was sick for hours later. I'm a diabetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 404

You deserved it 8 253

Thanks Karen

By Anonymous - 26/08/2014 15:30 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 685

You deserved it 4 366

By first time at McDonald's in months... - 27/03/2013 05:04 - United States

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 235

You deserved it 19 347

First impressions

By Anonymous - 03/03/2021 23:01

Today, while on a date, I accidentally ordered "diet water" instead of saying "diet coke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 298

Typecast

By nerd - 16/10/2009 15:08 - Singapore

Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 422

You deserved it 5 759

By fatty - 29/04/2015 01:36 - United States - West Chester

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 322

You deserved it 5 248

By sportskidguru - 01/02/2009 14:41 - United States

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 580

You deserved it 3 717

Next

Top comments

plasticsmile42 2

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:04

Wow, what an ass. dont let him/her get to you op!

MainPrism 16

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:05

I really hope you obeyed the cardinal rule of the food industry & waited til after you got your food before telling the waiter what you thought of them... If not, you ate something extra with your food... Pretty much gauranteed...

Comments

coolbrony12 3

Friday 6 July 2012 2:26

Tell a manager ur waiter was being an asshole

dead_insects 18

Friday 6 July 2012 2:28

wow-that douche bag was 300 shades of asshole wasn't he?! If that was me, I would have said, "no, I will be having a large milkshake, thank you", I would then proceed to order only the most fattening dishes, all the while enjoying them thoroughly, and smiling sweetly at him. Then, will the bill came, I would not only refuse to tip him, but I would write in the tip field for him to kindly remove his head from ass before returning to work and make sure the manager knew what happened... but that's just me... ^_^

nerdsgetmehot 22

Friday 6 July 2012 2:29

I agree. I would have ordered the most fattening things on the menu.

taylorandrew 0

Friday 6 July 2012 2:29

It's so mean, but it's funny! I'm sorry

demonkey_fml 4

Friday 6 July 2012 2:38

Um, that would equal you saying, "NO TIP FOR YOU, BITCH!" No doubt your waiter was jonesing for his/her next meth hit. Don't take it personally, complain to his/her manager or online via the internet website for his restaurant chain. Some people don't deserve to have a job. When I was a waitress, I never would have even thought such a thing. I have a feeling that his/her girlfriend/boyfriend just dumped his ass and he was venting. Still, that is incredibly unprofessional - complain to management and/or the website of the restaurant, they take such things seriously. It would help if you remembered his name. In summation, WHAT A DICK!

versteeg1 3

Friday 6 July 2012 2:40

Sounds like Mr 'I'm a grown up but can't land a serious job so I try to pretend like I'm important' needs an attitude adjustment - don't let him get to you, OP

Rocky007 15

Friday 6 July 2012 2:41

1 cent tip. So he knows you just didn't forget. And if it's one of those places that add the tip automatically, have them remove it-they have to do that if you ask.

PYLrulz 17

Friday 6 July 2012 2:42

Someone is not getting a good tip!

goldens_fml 12

Friday 6 July 2012 2:42

Guess who will be getting a 0 percent tip.

MedicsWife 0

Friday 6 July 2012 2:45

Wow! First I'd have told him "There goes your tip, bitch@ then I'd have asked to see the manager.

griffy14 9

Friday 6 July 2012 2:47

The real question is, what did you order before your drink?

Tequilamockngbrd 7

Friday 6 July 2012 3:23

Probably nothing? People usually order drinks first.

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The Top

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 540

You deserved it 1 905

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 1 054

The Top

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 475

You deserved it 5 305

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 644

You deserved it 3 090

Today, my class had a paint war to celebrate our upcoming graduation. I had a severe allergic reaction to the paint and now I'm covered in giant red splotches everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 473

You deserved it 1 679

Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 183

Today, I'm severely hungover. Upon returning home, I came to find that both of the elevators were out of order. I live on the 12th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 221

You deserved it 36 435

Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 304

You deserved it 4 384