Get your hands on an army uniform (captain or similar rank). Take command over a small squad, lock down the local council hall and arrest the mayor. Seize the cities' cash savings (don't forget to issue a receipt!). Make sure your soldiers keep guarding the mayor while you take off with the cash. Edit: Proceed with #6

Borrow some cash and get your new ID. Problem solved.

Pro Tip: Leave an expired Photo ID (for the gym or library or shooting range or whatever) in your safe at home. Even though it's expired it's useful in this sort of situation. Also useful: pictures of your DL and car insurance card stored in your phone.

You should be able to get a replacement license (including a temporary one you can print out) online, as long as you can answer the security questions accurately.

OMG I am going through similar situation. ....i am at the DMV to process a replacement ID. My bank refuse to replace my ID without a state issued ID. I was told a receipt from DMV that by ID is being processed was good enough. my state issued professional ID was not accepted by my bank

The PA dmv only accepts cash and checks and maybe money orders, I'm sure California will accept any of those, too. hopefully you don't keep your social security card in your wallet, and if you have your birth certificate you should be able to get a new ID in a few minutes.

You should be able to pay in cash at the DMV. I lost my ID and debit card in the same week once and I was able to pay with cash when I needed the new ID. Unless your state/country is weird and doesn't allow paper currency.

go to the bank and take out CASH and use that at the rmv?

Just borrow some cash and get the new ID so you can get your debit card. Shit happens man don't worry.

you should get a passport