By Anonymous - 13/09/2009 09:27 - United States

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks 560
You deserved it 50
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Poonheart 0

YDI for owning a dog

evangldbrg 0

Sounds like my family as well...and ironically enough, we live in Missouri as well. Maybe they put something in the water?

52 4
Sessee 4

Not ironic, coincidental. Irony = slapping a kid in the face with No More Tears shampoo. Coincidence = having near identical families in the same state.

86 6
hellawagon 0

This is a real FYL.

24 1
mysterystar 0

haha ydi for having an awsome family

1 47
americayay 0

F your mom's life.

1 0
Fhadso 2

HA! Welcome to Missouri! Wow, there are a lot of people from Missouri on here...WONDER WHAT THAT MEANS?!

11 3
toxic10uhc 0

Missouri is a sad place? idk I've never been there meself

5 0
PapaSmurfs 0

hey you!!! yea you BBQ ribs!! who's your daddy??!?!?!!!???!!!??

13 4
Sports_guy3 28

Damn... a possible night of REALLY HEAVY drinking?

1 1
thebestdancerz 13

I'm from Missouri. There's definitely not something in the water. That I know of.

5 0
pinkgal2129 8

Op should just pack her bags, and book it. I would.

0 0
whoredior 0

All family's suck. Get over it.

Sucks_to_be_you 0

Not like that. Jesus. I'd think I fell through the looking glass.

32 2
the_stereotype 0

agreed. that's family, and for some reason the messed-up (ness) seems to work. i'm sure you're just as weird as they are.

2 27
TheDoge 0

Yeah, he didn't mention his problems, which could be just as ace. Best FML I have actually read. Subtly comic, not outright farsical, not hard to believe. I like.

24 1
Herropreez17 0

True but this one is just plain messed up.

15 0
sammvp1 0

fyl, that sux :/ s.u people who tell them to get over it... must be tough.

19 44
splinteredApple 36

English.exe is not responding.

4 0
PotatoesAndCake 26

Stand back, everyone. I'm going to try and translate: **** your life, that sucks :/ **** you people who tell them to get over it... It must be tough. Did I get that right?

1 0
popprock 13

I'm sorry that's awful. :( I hope you're doing alright.

1 0
caancoha 0

...And what were you doing? I noticed you never said what degrading thing you had done, so this FML is incomplete. Tryin' to make everyone else look bad.... tsk.

12 98
Superman_Geek15 6

Did you wake up kn the wrong side of the granola bed......have some granola and chill dude!

9 1
MyUsernameKatie 31

I hope this isn't what you really think, and it was just your half-assed attempt at being funny.

14 2
ExiledRemixx 13

#6 You are really stupid

1 1
FerrariCake 2

Sounds to me like a typical Missouri family dinner. Was the dog in the bed with your sister?

61 8
rawr_ily96 24

According to the new illustration, yes.

8 2
plexico 3

She was probably most worried about you, her boring stick-in-the-mud wet blanket of a son who wouldn't know what having fun is if it bit him on the ass. I'm actually barbecuing right now and if my guests don't look at it and yell, "Who's your daddy?" or something like that, it's an epic fail for me! ;)

2 1
Intoxicunt 5

You're barbecuing at 8:30 am? It's SUNDAY. I can haz some? Edit: Or 9:30, I don't know what time zone you're in...

0 0
plexico 3

I finished it at 7pm CDT. It's smoked brisket -- takes forever! We're serving it Friday, c'mon over. If you can't make it, don't worry. I'll make it a lot out in rural Utah. We'll have to import mesquite from Texas, though. We gave a little to my brother-in-law and guess what he said? "Who's you daddy?!" The OP is a dullard, just like I said before.

0 0
kewlcat 0

ahh get off FML pleaase! witty comments suck u havent even gotten an FML published people who get FMLs published > witty commenters

2 0
Intoxicunt 5

Lolwut @ 120. plexi, what are you preparing for, the last supper!? That's a long time... Ok, I'll be there Friday. Make all the little children leave me alone, though. I told you you can't make brisket in Utah! The plexikids need a good role model with better taste in food. =) I think he actually said "afshghhfasgjh *gurgle* sakfhjgninaf" and you mistook it for a compliment.

0 0
plexico 3

Congrats on the Cheetos in the hair caper. Comedy genius! Your equation is ****** up. Just because you snuck in a report of being victimized by the group of douchebags you call "friends" doesn't make you "greater than" any witty commenter. I could start a list of many names all of whom are > you, but I wouldn't want to offend anyone I might accidentally leave off. If you have to call yourself "cool," you are not. Same thing goes with "funny" and "smart" and "fair and balanced" in case you want to get a really cool nickname. I guess I haven't published any FML's because my life is pretty good. The F'd part is tedium, ennui, boredom -- nothing that can fit in a punchy 300-character statement. Bad things happen but they are not really funny or unique. So to win your approval, I'm submitting this one: Today, I was enjoying FML as usual, when I was verbally attacked by some crazed, douchebag bitch who has some sort of hard-on for me. She was claiming to be superior to me because she has birdshit in her hair. Her attempts to curse me obviously reveal that she is madly, though obsessively, in love with me. FML. Wish me luck!

0 0
Glam_fml 0

As long as they aren't like that every night, then that's not too bad.

25 2