Intimacy: Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone...

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 19:48 - United States - Maryville

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 961

You deserved it 12 703

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 711

You deserved it 19 197

By Fatality - 28/10/2010 16:29 - Canada

Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 953

You deserved it 30 911

A quiet place, please

By Anonymous - 12/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 426

I guess that's a "NO!" then?

By Anonymous - 01/09/2024 16:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I thought it would be romantic to propose to my girlfriend during halftime at a local football game. I arranged everything with the stadium staff. When the moment came, I got down on one knee, only for her to hiss, "Are you serious? Right here?" She ran off, leaving me kneeling in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 839

By kinlin - 02/06/2018 19:00

Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 095

You deserved it 935

Watch your step

By the guy that didn't get his kiss - 25/06/2021 16:01

Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 149

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 191

You deserved it 9 764

By gutted - 07/05/2012 02:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 952

You deserved it 2 884

By Anonymous - 16/07/2011 05:38 - Canada

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 460

You deserved it 6 095

Help!

By Anonymous - 23/04/2013 11:25 - United States

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 973

You deserved it 6 442

EvilLittleMan 23

Tuesday 14 January 2014 0:40

OP, I think your wife has benched you.

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 14 January 2014 0:41

Look, it's not about how well you score, it's about how much of a team player you are.

Comments

hazardmuffin 21

Tuesday 14 January 2014 2:22

Then stop wishing and talk to your wife. If she doesn't enjoy sex as much as she used to, ask her what you're doing wrong/not doing and how you can fix it. It's THAT EASY.

josefr 1

Tuesday 14 January 2014 2:55

is score even a proper American football term? I feel like he is referencing soccer

Ziggy122 15

Tuesday 14 January 2014 3:02

Uh... yeah, I think so. When you earn points for your team, be it a touchdown or field goal or whatever, you score.

ziya1999 12

Tuesday 14 January 2014 4:17

No way you could compete with those football players. Try something new though.

mxij 13

Tuesday 14 January 2014 4:19

Don't we all, OP, don't we all

coxenator1105 9

Tuesday 14 January 2014 4:21

Haha...poor you :(

buttcramp 21

Tuesday 14 January 2014 4:25

try some things in bed you've never done before. it doesn't have to be crazy or kinky or even involve toys to be new and exciting!

AlexRen 21

Tuesday 14 January 2014 5:30

Time for some new tips, and tricks in the bedroom.

mageepaigeee44 15

Tuesday 14 January 2014 5:47

When my boyfriend sees a car he likes, he makes the same noise of approval as he does when he see's me naked. I think that's a good thing but I'm not sure.