Intimacy: Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As...

By Moth_Balled - 15/12/2015 04:50 - Australia

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 529

You deserved it 6 420

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Same thing different taste

Sorry, dude

By Aussie mate - 24/09/2020 08:01 - Australia

Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 21:20 - Canada

Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 823

You deserved it 51 986

By DisgustinglyFrustrated - 10/10/2013 15:40 - Argentina - Rosario

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 257

You deserved it 18 025

Cursed underwear

By Anonymous - 23/11/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 333

You deserved it 20 424

Love is love

By SpiderMan - 12/03/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 471

You deserved it 106 813

Spider-Maaaaaaan

By 8 Legs plus 1 - 08/05/2020 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She went to the bathroom momentarily, only to be greeted by a 'huge' spider, which disappeared under a cabinet. Due to her chronic arachnophobia, this instantly turned her off and caused her paranoia all night. I essentially got cock-blocked by a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 971

You deserved it 279

By BigBangrocksthenight - 03/04/2010 00:31 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 597

You deserved it 10 473

By foreverDark - 14/05/2012 12:40 - United States - Aurora

Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 611

You deserved it 23 523

It's getting hot in here…

By Anonymous - 17/06/2022 16:00 - New Zealand

Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 348

Such a weird move either way

By 1337fade - 07/04/2011 05:19 - Denmark

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 286

You deserved it 9 747

scout333 15

Tuesday 15 December 2015 13:47

When you've got moths in your groin, you know it's been a while.

catwomam 15

Tuesday 15 December 2015 13:45

Personal hygiene is a must!

Comments

BawlmerHon24 17

Wednesday 16 December 2015 8:19

sorry, but it's funny.

nomrana 14

Wednesday 16 December 2015 11:16

cool magic trick. how'd u do that ? ?

UncleSplooge 16

Wednesday 16 December 2015 15:37

Cartoon moment. Should have followed up with "It's been a while ".

OrganicSistah 17

Wednesday 16 December 2015 16:29

lmfao

LeGly 5

Wednesday 16 December 2015 19:18

Hahahahaha oh that's priceless XD.

samlovesham1234 9

Wednesday 16 December 2015 20:03

Are you sure you're not the Mothman?

MissPessimist 4

Wednesday 16 December 2015 20:12

dead below the waist. how can you not notice a moth fluttering about in your drawers?!

EarlFug 19

Thursday 17 December 2015 4:11

Are your genitals illuminated somehow?

hman1025 17

Thursday 17 December 2015 4:30

Looks like I've got a new phobia!

Cyrus00 41

Thursday 17 December 2015 5:23

I can just imagine a lone cricket chirping when this happened. Don't worry OP, it happens... (I think)

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The Top

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 723

You deserved it 13 099

Today, I invited my mom over for lunch so we could discuss how she broke my trust while she last babysat for me, and that as a result she won’t be babysitting for a little while. She then yelled at me and told me I was being disrespectful and dramatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 111

The Top

Today, my fiance of 6 years who was estranged for 10 months during which time our wedding was naturally called off, he came back, and after much convincing got a second chance. Within two weeks of taking it slow, he asked if I had been faithful after he'd abandoned me. A "yes" wasn't enough. He's disappeared again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 297

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 487

You deserved it 5 202

Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 900

You deserved it 6 351

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 745

You deserved it 9 315

Today, I watched my boyfriend feed his cat and change his profile on both Myspace and Facebook before saying to me that he was, "too busy to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 887

You deserved it 5 687

Today, I guess my mom didn't clean her toilet before going on vacation. That’s probably why it’s not only dirty, but the dirt has started to grow mould. Spoiler: She's been back from her trip for a while now, the toilet still looks that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 99