Transportation: Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 724

You deserved it 4 349

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 858

You deserved it 2 604

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 08:38 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 885

You deserved it 3 144

By dadadoo - 06/02/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 865

You deserved it 3 331

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 21:36 - United States

Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 984

You deserved it 3 573

NYC public transport

By Anonymous - 04/12/2020 17:02 - United States - New York

Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 18/05/2018 20:30

Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 243

You deserved it 307

The joys of public transport

By InPain - 17/10/2019 16:00

Today, while riding the train, some druggie got into a dispute with some random passengers. Even though I didn't even look at them fighting, he decided I was a threat and punched me, a pregnant woman, and some bikers. Now I've got a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 918

You deserved it 149

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 21:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 806

You deserved it 2 176

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:46 - France

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 622

You deserved it 3 699

Public transport FTW

By Anonymous - 17/10/2020 17:03

Today, I was riding the subway home after a long shift at hospital. I accidentally made eye contact with a sketchy dude for a split second. He launched a wide spray of spit at me. At least I was wearing scrubs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 133

Next

Top comments

m311 6

Wednesday 29 December 2010 12:14

bite him back

Sonfang 19

Wednesday 29 December 2010 13:54

...And so begins the zombie invasion!

Comments

Sanostol2 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 12:36

was it Edward Cullen?

SeasonedLemur 5

Wednesday 29 December 2010 12:46

Oh I wish that **** was homeless!

MonetVousAime 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 12:58

LMAO @ 18. Don't we all? :)

deafeningsilence 8

Thursday 30 December 2010 23:55

Well, I'm sure the homeless man was more attractive.

GreeenEggsAndHam 7

Wednesday 29 December 2010 12:37

ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE !

turtle4938 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 12:57

high five?

koap96 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 12:39

what we gonna have world war z now? great, damn zombies

belle2113 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 11:12

greatest book ever

smmrgrl 1

Wednesday 29 December 2010 12:44

loooll x)

yaksandyetis 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 12:55

tetanus much?

singhjr1 3

Wednesday 29 December 2010 13:01

I bet thats the most action you've gotten from another human. SERIOUSLY how much would that suck.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 29 December 2010 13:07

He was obviously just hungry, and here you are not only depriving the poor man of a meal but then complaining about it on an online forum to which he has no access and can therefore not even defend himself! You are a selfish, selfish woman. Shame on you.

CODYsaurusREX 3

Wednesday 29 December 2010 14:31

Well played 27, well played...

brootalxkeni 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 21:05

oh shut up

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 29 December 2010 21:36

brootalxkeni - who are you talking to? Please elaborate.

KyleIsSoFine 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 13:24

I once saw two homeless men intensely making out with eachother :/ Oh such things that happen.

KitKatKate98 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 13:35

Alright, grab all the friggin twinkies you can and GTFO!!!!!

ImaginaryFoe 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 13:35

Did the ants in his beard crawl into the bite? Are they building a home of your festering flesh? No? Meh, maybe next time.

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The Top

Today, after a few of my friends decided to drink last night, and my best friend ended up getting very drunk and confessing to my boyfriend that she loves him, her brother came over and gave me a lecture about responsibilities. I don't know what's worse, the lecture or the fact that her brother is my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 164

Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 1 486

The Top

Today, my friend asked if she could come over to my place. Since it's my birthday tomorrow, I said sure. Turns out she just wants to copy all my notes for our upcoming exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 555

You deserved it 3 894

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 372

You deserved it 28 540

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 903

You deserved it 23 960

Today, I invented a new fusion cuisine delicacy: cigarette-flavored apple sauce. The recipe? Cram so many apple pieces in a pot that they will burn on the bottom, even with plenty of water in it, then go away for 30 minutes and wonder what the bad smell is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 2 256

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 965

You deserved it 2 168

Today, it took me two hours to put all the kids to bed, so all I wanted to do was watch TV but my husband, who'd spent all that time asleep on the sofa, started pestering me for sex like he thought he deserved it after I'd asked him for help 3 times before just doing all the work myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 170